


A Part of Their World: Anthology

by AndixxYukie



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Anime x reader, Canon-Typical Violence, Chance Meetings, Cute, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Love, First Meetings, Fluff and Humor, Friendship/Love, Gen, Humor, Idiots in Love, Kissing, Love, Love Confessions, Love at First Sight, M/M, Meet-Cute, Reader-Insert, Unrequited Love, Violence, attack on titan - Freeform, attack on titan x reader, shingeki no kyojin - Freeform, shingeki no kyojin x reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2020-06-26 12:24:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 36,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19768147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndixxYukie/pseuds/AndixxYukie
Summary: A compilation of my works. Mainly to take advantage of the site's feature; to download and read offline. Majority of the stories are uploaded individually.---Mainly reader-insert fics opposite our favorite anime characters. Requests are open! Find me on tumblr as imaginesnkdorks





	1. Everyone Dies [Erwin Smith]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are in love. He knows that she knows that he loves her. She knows that he knows she love him. So, what's stopping them from just saying those three words?

They were both aware of how they felt. They know what it was, yet neither made a move.

(Y/N) was getting tired of it. She knows that he knows she loves him. How could he not know? She was his sanctuary; his refuge. Expedition after expedition, she was by his side. And she was getting tired of it because he was hers, too; her refuge. They both had each other’s back, and they both had each other’s heart. So why don’t they just take it?

* * *

“(Y/N)!”

“Tsk! Sigmund, Inka, cover me!” (Y/N) barked to her subordinates. This (H/C) – haired girl is a squad leader, you see. A squad leader of the Survey Corps. It’s the year 845, just a couple months after the fall of Wall Maria.

“ _Gyahh!”_ (Y/N) yelled as she dropped on a titan, carving out its neck in the process. One down. They managed to kill just one titan – one titan which has killed three of (Y/N) soldiers. A tragedy, yes, but it also was the last titan in direct sight – meaning they’re as good as done for the day.

“Squad leader (Y/N),” Inka called, “blue flares!” She then pointed to the sky, on their left side. True enough, the sky was painted blue with smoke from several flares. That means it’s time to go home.

“Sigmund, you fire it.” (Y/N) commanded.

“Roger!”

(Y/N) sighed, wiping the blood and sweat off her forehead with her sleeve. Not caring at all if anyone sees her doing so. She lost three of her men today. It’s hard to be optimistic when it’s like this every time they venture beyond the wall.

After Sigmund fired the flare, (Y/N) ordered the rest to start moving, before a titan sees them. Soon enough they were with the rest of the corps. The commander, Erwin Smith decided to regroup before heading back inside the wall. It’s to perform first aid on anyone injured, to let their horses rest up a little, and also to collect the dead.

(Y/N) found herself walking towards Erwin and the other squad leaders, but before she could do so, someone held her back.

“(Y/N), where are you going? We need to do something about that first!” it was Inka, pointing at (Y/N)’s forehead where blood had already started to coagulate.

“Oh yeah, I forgot about this.” (Y/N) remarked, offhandedly as if she was just talking about how sunny it was.

“Seriously? That has got to hurt!” It was Sigmund this time, and he was right. It was a pretty bad gash.

“Ugh. I think I’m still running on adrenaline. I’m sure it’ll hurt like a bitch later.” (Y/N) said, letting Inka usher her to the medics.

It may sound weird, but in life or death situations, you don’t really have enough time to cry over your boo-boos. You just have to grin and bear it.

* * *

(Y/N)’s wound was cleaned and dressed up in a bandage that goes all around her forehead in no time. The medics really work fast here – they have to, with this being a battlefield.

(Y/N) wasted no time and went to where the commander was.

“Erwin!” (Y/N) called on the taller man.

“Another head injury?” Erwin asked the moment he spotted the bandage around (Y/N)’s head.

“ _Another?_ I don’t always injure my head, you know.”

“Of course. It was your ankle last time.” Erwin uttered, his face almost showing amusement despite where they are.

“Hey! That was months ago!” (Y/N) defended herself. She can’t help but smile at that. Fresh from hell, they’re already like this. Hange used to tease them that they’re like an old married couple, bantering like this. _Huh, married?_ (Y/N) thought to herself.

“Anyway, where’s the list?” (Y/N) asked her superior, all business now.

“Here.” Erwin handed _the list_. What list? List of the dead, the missing. Really though, missing? Anyone not seen for twenty minutes can be as good as dead. That’s how dangerous it is.

(Y/N) took a deep breath as she took the list and pen from Erwin. This is one aspect of being a squad leader that she doesn’t like.

_Lorie Wayne_

_Mark Risch_

_Michael Duerr_

“Done.” (Y/N) said, handing it back to Erwin.

“Thank you.” Erwin uttered as he started to read the newly added names. He can’t help but raise his eyebrow at the last name.

(Y/N) lingered there. Seeing Erwin’s brow raised, she can’t help but talk about it.

“This was supposed to be Michael’s last expedition. Ironic, I know.” (Y/N) can’t help but let go of a grim smile.

“Wasn’t he the one who’s about to get married?” Erwin inquired. He’s correct. (Y/N) nodded. It’s sad, really. (Y/N) told him he shouldn’t go, but Michael insisted that it will be alright, just one last hurrah before he ties the knot with his lovely bride.

“Tragic, isn’t it?” (Y/N) said. She can’t help but think of her own romance -or lack thereof. It’s not that there isn’t any chance to fall in love – she is in love! With the very man she’s talking to right now; Erwin Smith. And she knows, somehow, he feels the same way. He must! So, why isn’t he taking any steps? Should she be the one to make the first move?

“Impractical and cruel, is what it is.” Erwin said, lips forming a tight line.

“How so?” (Y/N) inquired. Impractical, huh?

“We’re soldiers. We could die anytime here in the field. It’s cruel to start a family with someone, knowing full well that you’d die and leave them alone.” Erwin told (Y/N), looking directly into her eyes.

This revelation stirred something within (Y/N). She finally knows and before she could stop herself, she asked the question.

“Is that why you won’t admit it, Erwin? That you’re in love? With me?”

Silence. (Y/N) realized that there was no turning back now. There’s no more pretending they’re just friends, or at least only sees each other as friends. Erwin responded, and to her surprise, he was very honest.

“Yes.” Erwin smiled at her, and her heart leaped. (Y/N) can’t help the blush that was creeping up her cheeks.

“I feel the same- “Before (Y/N) could finish though, Erwin cut her off.

“But we can’t be together. We aren’t civilians, we’re already half inside our graves. I don’t want to have you suffer because of my death – which could happen anytime.”

(Y/N) felt like she’s been slapped. Of course, what Erwin said made some sense. But it isn’t the whole truth. It’s not that she won’t be heartbroken at the thought of him dying, no. She would be devastated if that ever happens! It’s because he’s wrong.

“That might be, but it isn’t entirely true. Everyone dies, Erwin. Even civilians can die anytime! Accidents happen, and people get sick. But that doesn’t stop everyone from loving and be loved!” (Y/N) was doing her best to stop the tears from coming.

Turning on her heels, (Y/N) walked away, leaving Erwin to his thoughts.

Erwin looked at the neat row of cadavers behind him. “Everyone dies, huh?”


	2. Farmer's Daughter [Jean Kirschtein]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [The farmer's daughter met a horse-faced boy. I know how funny that is, I didn't do it on purpose. LOL] Real summary: Reader is a girl with her own emotional baggage. Joining the 104 trainee class, she met a certain boy who draws her in like a magnet.

It was the first day of training, and you found yourself in one of the rows of cadets. There are too many teenagers like you – a hundred and fifty, probably. Everyone decided to be a soldier. What kind of soldier, though?

“You are now officially members of the training unit 104!” A commanding voice boomed from the front. You snapped your attention at the man, trying to look as attentive and as a soldier like as you can. _Trying to look_ , being the keywords. You really weren’t paying attention.

Finally done with his introduction speech, the instructor – Keith Shadis – went on and approached the people in front. Asking them one by one their names, hometowns and goals. Uh-oh. You thought. But then, you remembered what happened two years ago.

Your family didn’t always live in Mitras. You grew up in Eastcliff, a farming community at the edge of Wall Maria territory, and is just a couple of steps from Wall Rose. When hell went lose two years ago, you and your family were able to run away quickly because of those two horses you own.

The moment you felt the shaking of the land, you all knew something was wrong. And you soon saw the hideous forms of Titans, making their way towards your district. You and your parents lived, but several of the people you knew weren’t able to make it. You even saw how they met their end.

Your family somehow struck gold, amidst the disaster, with those two horses that saved your lives. Without a farm, your father began trading items from Trost, to anywhere within Sina. Hard work paid off, and a year and a half later, the three of you moved to Mitras, owners of a successful trading business.

So, just why would you leave the comfort of your home to be a soldier?

“Who the hell are you?” The booming voice of Shadis caught your attention. _Tsk. I shouldn’t space out like that._

He was in front of you – well, in front of the boy two rows ahead of you. Said boy is quite taller than you are, with light-ash hair, in an undercut.

“I’m Jean Kirschtein from Trost, sir!” He answered, saluting.

“What are you here for?”

“To join the Military Police Brigade and reside in the Inner District, sir.” He answered, but he doesn’t seem to sound too confident. He’s nervous, you thought. Also, he seems to be the honest type, since that’s how he answered – wanting to live in the inner district. There was no pretense of wanting for glory and honor in serving the King. He just wants to be comfortable.

“I see. So, you wanna live in the Inner District?”

“Yes, sir.”

To your surprise, Shadis went in for a headbutt! Poor boy Jean looked hurt, he fell onto his knees.

“Who gave you permission to sit?!”

The instructor wasn’t finished with him. But all that was forgotten as you once again lost your focus, this time though your attention was on the girl standing beside you. The brunette whipped out a potato? She has a freaking potato? Right here, right now?!

You were trying to catch the girl’s eye, but she was looking straight ahead whilst munching on.

It was suddenly quiet, very quiet. _Uh-oh!_ You thought. The instructor’s looking straight at her! Naturally, Keith Shadis went straight to her. Soon he was towering there, in front of her. And you too, since you are right beside her.

You found out that the girl’s name’s Sasha Brauss, and they had a confusing talk regarding the boiled potato, which ended up with Sasha having to do laps around the field later. And just like that, Keith Shadis went back to where he was and started torturing some other poor soul.

You decided to look straight ahead and just wait for your turn, but the rows that were done with whatever the instructor was doing was facing in your direction now – meaning you could see that Kirschtein boy.

He wasn’t breathtakingly handsome, but he isn’t an eyesore either. He kind of has along, horse-ish face and you couldn’t help but smile at that. Out of nowhere, though, his eyes snapped to your direction locking in on your face. His intense, brown eyes held your (E/C) ones.

Despite your face getting hotter, you couldn’t look away. His eyes were like magnets, pulling you in. He smiled. You smiled back, albeit shyly. Suddenly, figure broke your eye contact, dark shadow enveloping you.

“Who the hell are you and what the hell are you smiling at?” Crap! You thought. It was your turn. Gulping, you pounded your right fist to your chest and saluted.

“(Y/N) (L/N), from Mitras, sir!” You felt a dozen pair of eyes look at you. Yes, you suppose that makes sense. You’re already in the inner district, why want out?

“From the inner district? What the hell are you doing here?”

It’s now or never, you thought. You should convince him you belong here, and so with a commanding voice, you answered, “Because two years ago, this was the inner district, too! I want to stop those monsters from pushing us further in, sir!”

You could almost hear a needle drop in the silence that ensued. People were obviously looking at you now – either in awe or in bewilderment.

To your surprise, Shadis just looked at you and went on to his next victim – obviously skipping Sasha. You let go of a sigh of relief.

* * *

It was almost dinnertime now, and you decided to watch Sasha run around the campgrounds. You heard footsteps coming towards you, and you turned at the source.

“Oh, hello. (Y/N) (L/N), was it?” you nodded, “Jean Kirschtein.” He introduced himself, thrusting his hand forward. You shook his hand, which is far bigger than yours.

“So, Mitras, what’s it like?” He asked, shyly? Or was he actually nervous? A smile painted your lips.

“Do you really want to live in the inner district that much?” You teased, instead of answering his question.

He scratched his head and boy, was his face red. “It is farther from the Titans.” He answered sheepishly. “Anyways, you’re a (L/N), right? Your family owns (L/N) Trading?”

“Uh, yes.” At that, his eyes grew bigger.

“And you still want to fight Titans?” He asked, seemingly unable to wrap his head at your decision.

You nodded before answering, “We weren’t always rich. You see, I’m a farmer’s daughter. Somehow, we managed to make a business out of trading, so we got to live in Mitras. Almost everyone from my hometown died. I don’t want that to happen again.” You answered solemnly.

Jean listened closely, holding on to every word you said. “Wow. That’s … so brave of you.” He then looked away, as if ashamed of something. Then you remembered what he said earlier.

“You’re very brave, too, you know?” You told him, and his attention was back to you, eyes questioning what you’re talking about.

“You said exactly what you want – no pretense. You were just honest. It was, refreshing.” And you gave him a smile which he returned. He looked so happy with what you said, a smile really compliments his features.

It was there again, the magnets. Both of you were leaning closer to each other, closer and closer. You could see that his brown eyes had green fleck on them. Closer, …

_Ding! Dong! Ding!_

As if waking up from a trance, the two of you pulled back so fast, you could get whiplashed! Red – that’s probably the color of your face. Just what happened to you?

“Uhm, do you want to sit together at dinner?” Jean asked, and you could see him sporting the same crimson face.

“Yes. I’d love that.”


	3. Listen, Brat! [Levi Ackerman]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader was really bratty. A brat who never listens. And that just might get 'em killed. Not with Levi around, though.

He was the very first one to ever call me a brat! Can you believe his nerve? But I need to learn to ignore him. There is no way I’d quit or let him kick me out – not after what happened.

_“No! You can’t just have me marry some stranger!” I yelled, my temper spiraling out of control._

_And just like me, my father’s face was contorted in his rage. “I am the father – the head of the family! You’d do well to listen to me, (Y/N)! I never should have let you play with swords.”_

_“Really?” I remembered that he was the one who taught me how to fight in the first place. Father changed._

_“Just do as I say, (Y/N). It is a good match with Alexis. You will be set for life! You won’t need for anything like those peasants in the outer districts.”_

_“Oh yeah? Well, I’d rather be one of those peasants in the outer districts than get married to that Alexis. You know what, father? I’d take it even farther than the outer district! I’d go outside these damn walls! I’d rather be a Survey Corps soldier and get eaten by a Titan than stay here!”_

Out of spite, I walked away and never came back. True to my word, I enlisted in the military. After three years of training, I graduated the top of my batch. After which, I entered the Survey Corps. It was just after the wall Maria reclamation program, too. Meaning there are a lot of vacancies.

And as luck would have it, I got assigned to the so-called _Special Operations Squad_. It’s a brand new squad, with a brand new leader.

“Tsk. You’re the newbie?” Said this man, called Levi. That’s captain Levi for me, though. He’s my squad leader, and this squad functions differently than the other ones. How? I’m not quite sure yet – honestly, I don’t really know what this special operation is. 

“Yes, sir.” I saluted. “(L/N) (Y/N), sir!” to my surprise, he handed me a broom. An effing broom? Before I could stop myself, I lost my composure as a soldier and asked, “what’s this?”

Levi glared at me. He looked so offended right now, but I am too! Why the hell is he handling me a broom?

“Listen here, brat.” I can’t help but notice lingered on the word brat. “Every member of my squad need to learn how to clean up their mess before anything else.”

He stepped closer, leaning down a bit so his eyes are directly looking at mine. “Are we clear, brat.”

“Yes.” Despite my lack of respect, he deemed it good enough and left me with the broom.

“The heck am I going to do with this?” I looked around the room, and it was already clean! Ugh! Maybe the special operations are cleaning up what’s already clean! I sighed. I might as well as just sweep around.

“I can’t believe it! Three years of training all for this?” But I got no other choice now, do I? It’s either this or go back home.

Fifteen minutes into it, though, I actually got very immersed. Checking every nook and cranny of the room, so as the shelves and windows. But that doesn’t mean my mouth was shut the whole time.

“I can’t believe – ugh!” I lifted a set of books once I was done wiping down the shelf, “why do we even need books!”

“Do you just whine all day?”

“Shi –!” I whipped my head back, and lo and behold, my captain was back, with a teacup in hand.

“No. Sometimes I just punch walls.” Then I turned back to sorting.

“You can’t help being a brat, can you?”

“Excuse me?!” With my fists clenched, I dropped the books and walked over to where he’s sitting. He just sighed – an exhausted sigh.

“Let me guess, _brat,_ ” – the way he lingered on brat is so annoying! – “you’re running away from something.”

I froze. That was spot on. I was careful – no one knows anything. So, how?

“You came to the wrong place. One wrong move out there, and you’re dead. No matter how good you were during training, the real thing is something else. Especially since you think that all there is to a soldier is his sword.”

He left the room again after that, leaving me to my thoughts.

* * *

A month after that, I went on my first ever expedition.

“Listen, brat!” Levi said. “The moment we step outside this gate, Titans are going to surround us. Be ready for hell.”

At a loss for words, I nodded. It was hell, alright.

It was the first time I ever saw a Titan. They’re ugly, macabre creatures. Creatures that shouldn’t exist even in nightmares. Despite the initial shock, though, my training kicked in immediately. I went after every Titan I saw – finally having the outlet for all my pent-up frustrations.

1 … 2 … 3 … One by one they fell. I’m getting the hang of it.

“Captain! Two more incoming, a 10 – meter class from the left and a 6 – meter class from the right!” Eld barked.

“Brat, Olou, come with me. We’ll take on the 10 – meter. The rest of you go after the 6 – meter!”

“Yes, sir!”

We all went zipping to our assigned tasks, and as quick as lightning we were upon the 10 – meter class. It was just standing there, not even reacting to us. The captain signaled for me and Olou to do the routine – cut out sight, then the limbs. But that’ll waste our time. It’s literally just standing there!

I shook my head and went it for the nape. “Easy kill.” I smirked. Of course, it was easy. It was like a dead tree.

“No, (Y/N)!” Levi yelled. Too late.

I was almost there when the Titan suddenly turned! It’s head – no, it’s mouth! – was rushing towards me. Rather I was rushing towards it. Just when I thought I was gonna die, an arm wrapped around my stomach and pulled me away.

Black hair was almost all I could see, and a faint smell of antiseptic. I looked back at the Titan and it was already evaporating. Did Olou go in for the kill? Or was it Levi?

Dropping me uncourteously on the ground, Levi leaned down so we met at eye level.

“I told you before, brat. One wrong move and you’re dead. Recklessness is stupidity! And being stupid means you’ll die first!”

He’s right. He was right.

“I’m … so – rry.” It was hard to get my voice to work again after all that, especially the part of me admitting I was wrong.

“Get up. Just … learn to listen.” And then he walked away.

* * *

We reunited with the rest of the army later that day and began setting up camp in an abandoned village. The local Garrison Hq here wasn’t big enough for all of us, so it was only the commander’s squad and the special operations squad who could stay.

Despite the fact that Titans can’t function at night and knowing full well we are actually safe, I couldn’t sleep. Being at death’s doorstep make you … realize things. Captain Levi was right. I do need to listen. It was my recklessness that almost got me killed.

Finally giving up on trying to sleep, I decided to walk around. I found a rag, somehow and started cleaning the old dining area. Five months’ worth of dust was waiting for me, but I couldn’t care less. I need something to do.

“Can’t sleep?”

“Ah!” I wasn’t alone. Captain Levi was here. Why? Instead of answering that I just nodded.

“I see you finally stopped your whining.” Despite that being incredibly annoying, I actually smiled. Well, at least I think it should have annoyed me yet I feel nothing.

“Was I that loud every time I clean?”

“Yes. I was tempted only too many times to kick you out my squad. I have no need for a brat like you.” He said, looking me straight in the eye.

“Why didn’t you, then? Kicked me out?”

At that, though, he looked away. And silence passed that I thought he was never gonna answer but he did.

“Because you’re actually good at cleaning.” He said whilst looking at the wall, you’d think he was talking to it. In spite of the subtle insult there, I can’t help but smile and feel the tiniest bit of pride at my work. Okay, not the tiniest. Captain Levi is the master of being clean and having him praise my work is some kind of an achievement.

“Thank you.” I said, before we both settled back into our silence.

* * *

“(Y/N), back me up!” Eld called. We were facing a 7-meter Titan. It was abnormal, too. When he called me to back him up, that meant I should be in sync with him in disabling the Titan. We sped up to cut off its eyes when the damn Titan jumped out of the way. Good thing me and Eld didn’t slit each other’s throat when we almost collided.

We quickly recovered, and one look between us conveyed our next move. A faint, a smokescreen and then bam! I went in for the nape!

“Finally!” I yelled, victoriously. “Area cleared!” I yelled out to my squadmates. We all then gathered around captain Levi.

“Good job, Eld!” Gunther said as he clapped Eld on the back.

“Thank you. But (Y/N) did a great job, too. After all, she dealt the killing blow.”

“Whoa! That’s your fifth kill, (Y/N). And it’s only your first expedition.” Petra mused.

“That’s noth – “I tried to shrug it off, but Olou cut me off. That ass.

“That’s nothing. Five kills aren’t that amazing.” Olou said haughtily, even crossing his arms for full effect.

“Funny you should say that, Olou.” Eld said before he and Gunther burst into laughter. Once he was calm enough, he continued, “(Y/N), on this pig’s first expedition you know what happened? He peed his pants!”

“Oh my goodness! Really?” That was probably the grossest thing I have ever heard. And to think I just saw people get eaten.

“Tsk. He reeked so bad, too.” Levi added a look of disgust on his face. “Picnic’s over. We’re heading to the left plank.”

“Yes, sir!”

We all moved towards our horses, however, Levi held me back.

“Hey, brat!”

“Still?” I thought we _bonded_ last night. Well, maybe that was only me.

He sighed, as of what he was about to say is something so difficult and would contradict his principles. “You did great, (Y/N). You actually listened.”

“Hey! You called me by my name for the first time!” I was wrong. This felt better than being praised for my cleaning skills. I was so cheered up that I was actually skipping!

“Idiot, I’ve called you by your name before. You just didn’t listen.”

“Well, sorry! Promise I’ll listen better from now on.”

To my great surprise, he actually smiled at that.


	4. Like Spring [Erwin Smith]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You were like spring. Spring was the season when everything, which seemed dead in winter, comes back to life. Whenever you’re around, his world was colorful, fun, and just lovely. And just like spring, you leave.

You were like spring. Spring was the season when everything, which seemed dead in winter, comes back to life. Whenever you’re around, his world was colorful, fun, and just lovely. And just like spring, you leave.

“(Y/N)?” He whispered. Funny how that echoed in the room. Erwin looked around and you were nowhere to be seen – again. He sighed, and though his heart was heavy, he stood up and began going about his day, after all, you’ve done this before.

Still, pangs of loneliness attack him when he least expects it. He’s been staring at the parchment for fifteen minutes now, yet it remains blank. His mind wandered back to the days before you disappear, trying to figure out what made you do so.

* * *

“I love you, Erwin.” You whispered, and his heart was suddenly heavy and full of emotion – full of affection for you. He wanted to tell you the same thing – “(Y/N) … “– he started, yet no words came out. Instead, he closed the gap between your lips, savoring that moment with you. He noticed how sweet you tasted – like honey, or dare he say, like spring itself.

Breaking apart and gasping for air, he finally found his voice. “I love you, (Y/N), you know?” And he gave you that breathtaking smile of his. His smile which a sight only you get to enjoy. His subordinates – or anyone else, really – doesn’t know this side of Erwin. His affectionate and gentle side. A side of him that you think – nay, you know that you don’t deserve.

Despite that, you can’t help but give in to him.

You woke up tangled not only in sheets but also with his body. You smile, yet there was guilt eating out your heart. Looking at him, looking relaxed and oh – so heavenly, you seem to forget everything. Your fingers delicately brushed his blond locks away from his face – but really, you’d use any excuse to touch his face.

Eyelids fluttered open, giving way to his icy, blue eyes. And despite still being heavy on sleepiness, he managed to give you a smile that could stop your heart.

“Good morning.” He whispered as his eyes lazily closed again. You can’t help but laugh at that and it rang around the room, giving life to it.

“Morning, sleepyhead.” You teased, as you leaned down to kiss him on the lips. You made a move to get off the bed and make breakfast when strong yet gentle arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you back down on the bed with your back on his chest.

Erwin buried his face on your (H/C) hair, breathing you in. “Where are you going?” He inquired.

“We need food, Erwin. Breakfast.” You explained, and really, you two have to eat. But you don’t have the strength to get out of his embrace – yet.

“I don’t. All I need is you, (Y/N).” He snuggled in closer, though your heart swells at the endless amount of affection for this man, a disgusting thought gnawed at the back of your head – _I don’t deserve him._ You stayed quiet and let him stay in his bubble of happiness. The day after, you were nowhere to be seen.

* * *

Erwin looked for you, the first time you left. And the next one after that. He just doesn’t understand why. Did he say something wrong? Hurt you in any way? The first time you came back, you acted like nothing happened. He had doubts but soon threw them away to relish in the fact that you’re back.

“I missed you.” He would say, as he welcomes you with open arms. You wanted to say that you’re sorry and that you missed him with every fiber of your being, yet you swallowed it all down and just embraced him, opting to say “I’m home.” Instead.

Erwin tried to be strong, and even though he would rather have you with him all the time, he learned to let you go. He just knows that you need space, somehow. And even he’s hurting, he will still love you. After all, you’re like spring. Even though you’ll leave, he knows you’ll come back.


	5. That Idiot [Levi Ackerman]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi was right; you are an idiot.

“Levi! It’s them – survey corps!” Farlan announced the moment he spotted the wings of freedom crest on the soldiers’ uniforms.

“You know what that means.” Levi answered, focused in front of him.

“It’s the job.” It was Isabel this time.

Levi didn’t bother to say anything else, they did plan this over and over, anyway. Still, hesitation is creeping upon him. Doing this job meant going to the surface. And going up there meant leaving the underground behind – which is good, except for the fact he’ll be leaving you as well.

“Tsk, that idiot.” Levi muttered before the three of them separated and began their plan.

* * *

"Teach me how to use those gears, please!" You begged Levi, even going as far as kneeling in front of him. He looked down at you, his face as cold and as unreadable as a slab of marble. Yet you didn't falter. You couldn't! This is probably your only way out.

"Come on, Levi! I think she'd make a great addition to the group!" Said Isabel, as she approached the two of you.

"She doesn't even know what they're called." Levi said, and he was right. You just looked at him, trying to plead with your eyes. Isabel did the same, and you hoped that maybe this will help. With a heavy sigh, Levi turned away. You were stunned. You have nowhere else to go now. You shudder at the thought that this might as well be your final day alive, but then mid-way away from you, Levi spoke; "you better know how to clean. If you're filthy, I'll kick you out." And he went on his way. Cleaning?

* * *

Months passed, and you're miraculously still alive! It's all thanks to your comrades, especially to Levi. They taught you how to use the 3dm gear, taught you how to fight and gave you food and shelter. It was all too good to be true. You have a new family.

"(Y/N)! Look! I got us apples!" Isabel announced the moment she opened the door. True to her words, she was holding four apples. Four glistening, red apples! You run immediately towards her.

"How? Gahh, it doesn't matter." And you grabbed one, wrapping your hand around it to feel it's smooth skin. Almost tempted to eat it right away.

"Isabel! You just ran off with those apples! Where are they? Don't keep them all to yourself!” It was Farlan, this time who entered. Face flushed and seemingly out of breath, he followed Isabel towards you.

" (Y/N) can make apple pies with these!" Isabel declared, and really, you don’t have any say in the matter. Besides, that was probably the best way to enjoy these red beauties. You nodded and went about to start making the pie. You were a wonderful cook, and it almost a huge factor in why Levi allowed you to stay.

See, none of you ever thought that a person could ever suck at cleaning, yet here you are. Good thing you had cooking going on for you.

“Tsk, acting like kids. Oi (Y/N)! You’re coming along on our next job.” Levi said as he swaggered over to where you are. Now there are four of you in the kitchen, with both of Isabel’s and Farlan’s faces a little too close on the apples.

“Guys, I need arm space to cook.” You pleaded, and though Farlan was sheepishly walking away, Isabel looked reluctant to leave.

“Go and clean yourselves up. Especially you Isabel. You won’t be of help anyway.” Levi said as he scooted closer to where you are.

“Alright.” With both Farlan and Isabel gone, you and Levi fell into a rhythm. Levi really is handy with a knife, and years of cooking for himself improved his skills. The two of you silently proceeded cooking, with an occasional humming here and there.

Whilst Levi was busy peeling and dicing the apples, you busied yourself with making the crust. By then, you could hear the other two on the floor above you – meaning you have what little privacy you two could get.

“Was Isabel too hyper for you today?” You finally said, breaking the comfortable silence.

Without looking up from what he’s doing, Levi answered, which of course began with a click of his tongue. “She ran the moment she saw the apples roll down. She didn’t even check if it was safe.”

“Hmmm. I would have done the same.”

At that moment, Levi was thankful you had your back to him. Otherwise, you would have seen the smile on his lips. He knows it would have been dangerous, but the thought of you running after food amuses him.

After he was done with the apples and set them aside, he stepped closer to you. Finally wrapping his arms around your waist, he pulled you closer. He regretted it almost the moment he did.

You tensed up, as you always do when he touches you. He let go, reluctantly. After all, he didn’t want you to disappear again. He never asked you why he was just relieved you ever came back.

A moment of silence passed, and neither of you moved.

With a deep breath, you finally found your voice. “Sorry.” Levi just hummed in acknowledgment. That’s all he could do after all.

Whenever he tries to show affection, you’ll seize up. He doesn’t really know why but the fact that you run away whenever emotions and affections between you become a little too real was clue enough. And as someone who has had difficulty in expressing his emotions, he understands.

“That job I was telling you,” Levi started as he leaned on the counter, facing you, “it’s for citizenship above.” Never in your life did you whipped your head so fast.

“What?”

“A noble ordered a hit. The reward is citizenship for the four of us. The catch is, we’ll face Survey Corps soldiers.”

“Oh.” This was it. The moment that could change your lives. Why? Because hell is where you are. Not literally, of course. Rather, a life so horrible that hell itself would be a relief. The only positive aspect of your life was Levi. A chance to live amongst trees and sunlight would be a dream come true. But are you ready?

The scent of pie soon filled the house. You didn’t have to call for Isabel and Farlan. Right after they cleaned up their plates, both dashed off to finish their errands, leaving you and Levi behind. He moved to the sink to wash up, and you stood behind looking at him.

Who would have thought this beautiful man would ever love you? Someone you could never deserve. You have nothing to give him yet he wants you, and you only.

Full of affection for the man, you almost ran towards him and hugged him. Levi leaned onto your touch. You rarely initiate contact, and honestly, he wants you so bad and needed this.

He turned, forgetting the dirty dishes behind, and leaned down to your face. Finally noticing the tears threatening to fall from your eyes. Alarmed, he cupped your face and asked in a worried tone so full of emotion – which only you will ever hear – “what is it?”

“Nothing… it’s just… I can’t believe it. I’m so lucky. With you.” You smiled. You meant every word. You never thought anyone – let alone a great man – would ever love you. And Levi is a wonderful man – violent, maybe. Still, his heart is in the right place.

He wiped your eyes, and he called your name in a way that made you shudder.

“(Y/N).” He kissed you deeply on the mouth and you melt into it. _If heaven is real, this must be what it feels like_ , you thought. “You, of all people, more than deserve me. We could be happy. We are happy, right?”

You nodded.

In the morning, you were gone. Days passed and it was the day of the job and you were still a no show. They had to go without you.

* * *

Their target captured them – the plan went smoothly. They’re now being hauled off above, and at that moment Levi had to accept the possibility of not seeing you again.

_That idiot._


	6. That Idiot II [Levi Ackerman]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi was right; you are an idiot.

Love is painful. You found that out when you were young. It’s a given that your life would be tough, growing up in the underground and all, but your family seems pretty special. Well, that is if you could consider it a family.

That’s why … it took a while for you to reciprocate Levi’s feelings. Though, you can honestly say you really weren’t able to do much. It’s just that, you can’t help but feel as if you don’t deserve him. He’s too good for you, and getting comfortable with him is taking advantage of him. He doesn’t deserve that.

Still, you wanted him. You love him. But he’s given you so much, yet you have nothing for him. Running away seemed smart. He could find someone who deserves him – someone who could make him happy. Yet, every time your feet drag you back to him. This time was no different.

It has been a week since you last saw them – _him._ A week since you last cooked for them. You thought back to your last talk with Levi, something about the job that could bring you to the surface.

“Oh, (Y/N)!”

You snapped your head up to look at the source.

“Mick, hello.” You greeted. Mick is one of Levi’s people. You didn’t notice it before but you are actually quite close to the house. Levi’s house.

“Where were you! The boss is gone!” Mick informed you, and your heart rate suddenly picked up.

“What do you mean?” Your words were laced with worry.

“It’s the Survey Corps! They took him, with Farlan and Isabel.”

“Oh.” You were too late. It was the job. He’s not here anymore. Panic engulfed your system, creeping up from your toe to your head. You were too late!

“Are you alright, (Y/N)?” Mick asked, noticing how pale you’ve suddenly become. You couldn’t answer – you can’t. Despite your legs feeling like lead, though, you were somehow able to run away from Mick and into the house.

Shutting the door with a slam that could be heard for miles, you crumpled to the ground. You were a sobbing mess, and you honestly couldn’t care less. Levi’s gone. And with how things are, there’s a high chance that you’ll never see him again.

But what right do you have to cry? _Why_ are you crying? You’re the one who ran away. You always run away. You were an idiot. Isn’t it funny how when Levi is literally out of your reach was the moment you realized how wrong you were?

“What am I going to do?”

You sat there, unmoving for what felt like years. Candlelight from the streets was pouring in your window, shining on a certain glinting object. Curios, you walked over – finally leaving your spot at the door.

“They left this here?” You said, hand sliding over the cool surface of a 3DM gear. Your gear. Of course, they’d leave that behind. And just like that gear, which glinted in the dark, an idea sparked in your mind.

* * *

“I’ll carry the package since I have this –“you said, pointing on that bulky equipment around your hips – “while the rest of you distract those pigs.”

“Understood, (Y/N)!” Chorused several men. It’s been a month since you came back, and you decided to live … the way Levi and the others showed you. You, in a way, replaced them in leading the band of people who just wanted to have something to eat.

You were yet on another job – the basic, really. And when you say basic, it meant the Military Police on your tail. You managed to lose them by winding around; after all, you know this place like the back of your hand.

You arrived at the rendezvous spot, and the rest is already there.

“You’re back already, boss?” Mick said, welcoming you.

“Boss?” You asked eyebrow raised to the sky. You can never get used to being called that, but you were certainly acting like the boss.

Mick just shrugged and held out his hand, like a child. Sighing, you began counting the bills and dividing it among everyone. They all said their thanks and began filling away.

“Alone again…” You dropped down on that pitiful excuse of a sofa and looked at your remarkably plain ceiling. A bad taste was forming at your mouth at what you’re doing. Apparently, fate has its own horrible taste for irony.

Levi loves – _loved_ – you and you love him back. Yet in those days, you were sure you were taking advantage of his kindness. Love was supposed to be painful. Well, at least that’s what you thought. When it was too late, you finally understood – you could’ve been happy. Still, you can’t just let it all go, now can you?

Coming back and finding that 3DM gear was the catalyst – the push you need to turn everything around. After all, it was what brought you to Levi in the first place.

The plan? Be the most badass thug around, and attract the attention of the Survey Corps. They’re the ones who took Farlan, Isabel and Levi. And you’re hoping against hope they’ll take the bait and grab you. Also, that the three are still alive and free. That would be too good to be true, yet you can’t lose hope now.

You had no idea just how cruel this world could be, though.

* * *

Another month went by and you were honestly getting impatient. You even thought of just going up there – to hell with citizenship! Though, you honestly have no idea what happened to the three people you wanted to see – are they prisoners? Are they soldiers? Are they still alive? Each question that pops in your head gives you a huge ball of anxiety to carry every day. The longer you wait, the lower the chance you’ll see them.

“(Y/N)!” Jan hissed as he sprinted towards you. Yes, Jan. His legs are fixed up by the noble who hired Levi and the others. That cursed job. You should’ve asked Levi back then for more details, that would have made this easier.

“Is it time?” You asked the man.

“Yes. The cargo’s on its way.” He confirmed, and you nodded before zipping away on a building. This is it – your biggest hit to date. A box of valuable jewels will be traveling the streets of the underground about now. One of your men overheard the guards of the entrance talking about it.

Apparently, a rich person wanted to move that box from Mitras to Stohess undetected by some people above, thus forcing him to make use of the underground exits which is conveniently located at each of the city he needed it to be. Now, why he deemed it safer to transfer through the underground is beyond you. Yet, you can’t help but be thankful. With this, everyone on your ragtag gang will have enough to eat for the rest of their lives. Also, it will surely shine a spotlight on you.

Standing at that rooftop, you have a clear view of the cargo – well, of the carriage that carries it. You raised your hand to signal your crew.

The plan went smoothly – alarmingly so. It certainly raised a lot of bells in your head. Still, you must go on.

“Here, hang on to these.”

“Yes, (Y/N)!” The others said. You nodded before zipping away. Your usual modus was that they’ll be the bait and you’ll run off with whatever you guys took. This time though, you will be the bait. You zipped around the crime scene, and sure enough, a group of Military police was on your track.

Then you saw a flash of what you’ve been wanting to see the most – “the wings of freedom!”

Adrenaline burned through your veins in anticipation – there were three hooded figures, all sporting the crest of the Survey Corps. This only means one thing, since the underground is under Military Police jurisdiction. They’re here to take you!

You wanted to stop and surrender right then and there, but that would make them suspicious. You zipped a bit more – trying to lose them. You did lose, however, the Military Police. Now it’s just you and the Survey corps.

A dead end. Maybe it’s your impatience, but you ended up cornering yourself.

“There’s nowhere to run. There are three of us against you. The best choice would be to surrender.” Boomed a confident voice of a man behind you. You felt a lump form in your throat and drop down your stomach – it wasn’t the voice you longed to hear.

Dropping your arms to your sides in resignation, you were about to turn around when another voice spoke up.

“Wait, Erwin …”

That voice! You never turned around so fast in your life.

“(Y/N).”

“Levi…” Tears were threatening to spill, and all you wanted to do was run towards him. Levi… he’s right here! But you were frozen in your spot.

_Oh no… Is it happening again?_ You thought … but no. Guilt.

The other two soldiers with Levi – the man he called Erwin and another tall man – walked farther away.

“Levi I…” You began, yet nothing followed. Levi stood there, face a slab of marble. You so wanted to tell him how much you love him and how important he is. You lost control, and tears were now falling freely down your eyes.

“I’m s-sorry.” You sobbed, pathetically so. But you couldn’t care less.

Levi was quiet, face showing no emotion. Then he walked, ever so slowly towards you.

“(Y/N) … You are such an idiot, you know that?” He said, before grabbing you towards him. He still remembers how you would tense up when he touches you, but to hell with that! He wrapped you in his arms, head resting on your shoulder.

“(Y/N).” Levi whispered your name, and you felt tears on your shoulders. You wrapped your arms around him. You continued to apologize, “sorry, I’m so sorry.” To your great disappointment, Levi let go of you.

You were then able to take a good look at Levi – you could clearly see the fresh track of tears on his face.

“Is sorry all you’ll ever tell me?” He said, sadness clouding over his eyes. Raising a hand to his face, you were finally able to touch his face again. Levi raised his hand and covered yours – clearly savoring this rather rare moment of tenderness.

His eyes clung to yours, waiting for something he wanted to see. But you were taking too long. Just when Levi was about to give up, you began.

“No. I, I love you, Levi. I’ve changed.” At that, you let go of a breathy laugh. “I’m not the idiot that I was. I won’t run away anymore. If you’ll still have me, I’ll stick with you. I… you are my home.” You managed to turn your feeling into words. Finally.

Levi was surprised, mouth agape and eyes wide. He recovered, moving both his hands to cup your cheeks. He gave you the most heavenly smile you’ve ever seen.

“(Y//N), you are mine.”

“Welcome home.” You managed to say just before Levi closed the gap between you, and you felt his lips on yours once more.

And that moment was the moment your life truly changed.


	7. Your Twisted, Little Game [Levi Ackerman]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s like your own twisted game that only the two of you play.

You were at it again - procrastinating. Hiding away from the chores assigned to you. But that’s only natural, you thought. It doesn’t make any sense for you at all how you have to clean up the HQ. You were a soldier, dammit! Your job is to fight Titans, and maybe die for the people - but not scrubbing floors and cleaning stables. You had enough of that back home. 

But what can you do? You were assigned to the one squad where a clean freak would lead - _your freak_. Captain Levi - or just Levi for you - has tried time and time again to make you move your ass and clean up like the rest of the squad. And while he was able to move your ass, so to speak, it wasn’t in the way he wanted to. Or maybe not.

It’s like your own twisted game that only the two of you play. 

You’re in your special spot - a clearing in the woods behind the Head Quarters with a small pond. Logs upon logs of trees covered one side, so you remain hidden to anyone approaching from HQ. Though, you doubt anyone would come. After all, it is your special little spot. 

“Y/N!” 

Shit! Levi! Who are you kidding, though? You wanted him to find you. This is your special spot. The two of you used this place as your rendezvous so many times, of course, he’ll look for you here.

Footsteps came closer, and you can feel him just on the opposite side of the logs. Soon enough, Levi walked around and lo and behold, the two of you were now face to face.

“Hey, there.” You said casually, throwing him a smile you know he can’t resist. 

“Is it really that difficult for you to hold a broom for even fifteen minutes?” Levi asked as he walked closer to where you were sitting. He was towering over you now.

You smirked, seeing your chance. And you went for it. “I prefer holding other shafts than the broom’s.” It wouldn’t be obvious to others’ eyes, but knowing just where to look, you can see Levi was getting pretty excited. 

With a click of his tongue, he crept closer, kneeling down so you are eye to eye. He opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it. Next thing you know, his mouth was on yours. His sweet, sweet mouth which you seem to never get enough. 

“Mhmm!” You didn’t know which one of you was making the sound, and honestly, you couldn’t care less. 

He moved down to your neck, and you can’t help the moans which are coming out now. “Levi... oh ... “You wrapped your hands around his head, attempting to pull him back to your lips but then he grabbed your wrists, holding both your hands in front of you.

“Levi?”

“Don’t enjoy this too much, Y/N. Chore deserters get punished.” With one hand on your wrists, his other traveled to his cravat and removed the piece of clothing. He then tied your wrists with it.

You bit your lip in excitement - the game is afoot!


	8. Parallel Lines [Erwin Smith]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She's the one girl Erwin likes. The one girl he can't have.

The Survey Corps has the smallest coffer among the branches of the military. It isn’t hard to see why – the death rate alone is explanation enough. Anyhow, it is due to the limited budget that the Survey Corps can’t have a full-fledged doctor on call. The best they could do was medics that are trained in dressing wounds.

That’s why Erwin was thankful for the sole volunteer doctor, (Y/N). (Y/N) was originally a doctor from the inner district, and a good one at that. But since hearing the issues regarding the Survey Corps, she decided to pack up and be the resident doctor at the SC Headquarters.

“Tsk tsk.” (Y/N) clucked her tongue as she stitched up Erwin – again. It’s their routine every after expedition. Erwin, a fearsome squad leader, always need her to patch him up.

Erwin grimaced at the touch of antiseptic on his wound. It’s somehow shameful to him, so he wouldn’t admit this to anyone: he _sometimes_ gets injured almost on purpose. Like, he could have dodged or something, but he wouldn’t. Just so he could see (Y/N).

Stupid, really. But Erwin figured that with both of their hectic lives, this was the only point where they can meet. They’re like two parallel lines which were doomed to never meet, yet somehow (due to his injuries, really) they can see each other.

“Ahhh…” Erwin gasped. (Y/N) is unusually ungentle today.

“Sorry.” (Y/N) said, as she finished up stitching Erwin’s wound. “There. You know the drill, no pressure on that for a while.”

“Of course.” Erwin uttered as he stood to put his shirt back on. Turning around, he saw (Y/N) fiddling with papers on her desk. She seems out of it.

“(Y/N), are you alright?” He inquired.

“What? Oh. Yes, I’m alright. Just a little tense. Too many injured today.” That does make sense. This last expedition was unusually bloody. But it wasn’t different than any other expeditions.

“Yes, well that’s how expeditions are. This happens every time.” Erwin said matter of factly. 

At that, (Y/N) finally smiled. That sure relieved Erwin of his worries.

“Yes. This – “(Y/N) said, pointing to Erwin’s latest injury, “happens every time. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re doing this on purpose.”

Erwin’s ear began turning scarlet then. She really can see through him.

“Well, (Y/N), If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you don’t want me here.” Erwin said and regretted almost immediately. This would surely be the first and last time Erwin tries to be a smart-ass.

(Y/N) was taken aback – the always prim and proper Erwin tries to banter with her? Well, that’s a first! She quickly recovered though and flashed a smile.

“This is the clinic, after all. It’s nice to see you and all Erwin, but it better not be here again and with you injured.”

Erwin’s heart was thumping wildly as if it wanted to burst out of his chest. Was this a sign? Was she telling him that she actually wants to meet him somewhere other than here? That (Y/N) actually wants to see him?

Dare he say, that she might actually feel the same as he does for her?

Erwin was frozen, looking at (Y/N)’s face – staring deep into her (E/C) eyes. Searching for an answer, for something he wants to see – something he yearns to hear.

(Y/N)’s smile faded, forehead wrinkled in worry. “Erwin?” She inquired, stepping closer to the towering man. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Ahh.. uhh, yeah. Never better.”

“Okay, if you say so.”

(Y/N) turned back to her desk, setting bottles of antiseptics and gauzes away. As she was preparing to accept other patients, Erwin was in a predicament – should he go on a limb here and tell her his feelings?

_Oh, what the hell? It’s now or never._ Erwin decided.

“(Y/N).”

“Hmm?”

She turned around, looking at him. Erwin felt weak then, but in a good way. He was finally about to ask her out, to actually see her outside this clinic, when a very unwanted sound rang around the room.

_Thump thump thump …._ The door then opened and in comes the person Erwin least expected to see; Mike.

Then it occurred to him, he should expect to see him here, at least today. He did hear that Mike had a rather nasty cut today, lost a lot of blood and almost lost his right arm in the process. Almost.

“Mike?” Still, the knowledge of Mike’s injury didn’t stop Erwin from expressing his surprise.

“Erwin.” Mike whispered, as he clearly wasn’t well enough to be talking at length, let alone walk to the clinic.

“Mike!” It was (Y/N). Erwin felt a pang, he didn’t miss the way (Y/N) said Mike’s name. She wasn’t really scolding him the way a doctor would a stubborn patient. Instead, the way she said it was just heavy of emotion – of worry.

“I told you, you need bed rest.” (Y/N) said, running towards Mike to help him towards the lone bed in the clinic.

“And I told you, no need to fuss about it. I’m fine.” Clearly, though, Mike was lying. Erwin could almost see the grimace on his face as he said that.

As Mike sat on the bed (as he just won’t do what (Y/N) is telling him to), Erwin stood there. Halfway from the chair, and halfway from the doo. He’d never felt so lost and unwanted. It’s strange. He’s feeling very anxious, with Mike here. Something’s wrong.

“Oh? So you know more than the doctor now, do you?” (Y/N) said, as she fetched her kit. Stupid Mike opened his wound walking there.

“Look, I just wanted to see you.” Mike said, grabbing (Y/n)’s hand. Ice. It felt like ice was rolling down his spine. Erwin felt as if lightning has hit him as well. What’s going on?

At that, (Y/N) seemed, gentler? Calmer? A change came over her somehow. “I know.” She said, moving her free hand over Mike’s and her other hand. “I know, but I told you I’d come by later.”

_Hrmm!_ Unconsciously, Erwin cleared his throat. The other two turned back to him, and they seemed surprised to see him standing there. (Y/N) turned fifty shades of red, while Mike just looked at Erwin with pride.

“Oh, yes, Erwin. I never got to tell you about us.” Mike told him, smiling from ear to ear.

“Us? The two of you?” Erwin suddenly felt bile in his throat. A very bitter taste enveloped his tongue.

(Y/N), still blushing madly gave Erwin a smile – a smile he has never seen on her before. A smile that’s on par with Mike’s – a smile of a person in love.

_Love?_ “Oh.” Erwin sighed. He tried to smile at them, and he honestly doesn’t think he was successful, but he couldn’t care less. His goal right now is to get out of there as soon as possible.

They were just parallel lines after all.


	9. Little Mikey [Mike Zacharias]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rescuing a kitty from the rain brought Mike some cute benefits.

Mike just couldn’t figure out why everyone calls the damn thing _Little Mikey_. Honestly, why name the furball after him? You see, Mike is not really fond of animals. He can’t afford to have something depend on him; something cute and fuzzy that needs constant attention. 

“Aww, he is such a cutie!” Nanaba squealed while holding out a makeshift cat toy. Several other soldiers crowded around her and the little kitty. Mike watched the scene unfold, amused at how everyone seemed so comfortable – as if this was something totally normal. You wouldn’t think that these are trained soldiers – very lethal soldiers, at that.

The crowd never stopped ooh-ing and ahh-ing.

“Aww, shucks. Look at him chase that!” Gelgar said, amusement evident in his voice.

A collective gasp took over the group, the cat seemed to be doing something amazing. Undeniably, Mike was curious. But his pride won’t let him walk over to everyone. Thankfully though, Lynne announced exactly what’s going on.

“Look, look! He’s doing it again! Aww, Little Mikey!” Lyne said, gushing over the furball.

At the sound of that moniker, Mike’s entire mood soured. _Little Mikey_ , he thought. He couldn’t stand it anymore and decided to just walk away. Forget about his curiosity. Besides, what could the kitten be possibly doing that has everyone watching it’s every move?

The rest of the day came and went; same old drills and training exercises. And Mike is having yet another all-nighter, thanks to this never-ending pile of paperwork that seems to be magically appearing, by the hundreds, at his desk.

The sole candle in his office is now almost out – honestly, using a single candle was not a great idea – still, Mike is engrossed with work. That wasn’t until the sudden pitter-patter of rain disturbed his peace.

He finally gave up, tossing his pen and rubbing his eyes. He could already smell it – the earthly smell that accompanies every rain. The rain started to get heavier; big droplets heavily pouring nonstop. Mike moved over to the window, staring out in the blurry and dark outdoors. He honestly could barely see anything outside, at least anything clear enough. That was until he saw a flash of white.

“Huh? What was that?” Mike wondered… and it hit him quick enough. “The cat!” Before he could think more about it, Mike was running towards his door, down the flight of stairs and was out the building in a flash. His view out here, despite the torrential rain, is actually a lot better than in his office and he was able to see that flash of white better.

“It is you!”

The poor kitty was huddled against a tree, failing miserably at staying dry. Mike went ahead and grabbed the kitten, clutching it close to his chest. Despite the noise of the rain, Mike could make out the weak meows coming from the shaking creature in his arms. Even though Mike isn’t really fond of the cat, he felt a little pang. The cat was looking up at him as if it could… understand that he’s trying to save it?

Dripping wet, Mike made his way to his room. Digging around his drawer for an old towel, or even an old shirt to wrap around the kitten. The previously fluffy coat of the cat was matted. It’s soaked to the bone!

“You poor thing.” Mike whispered, as he gently tries to dry off the cat. Surprisingly, the little one was very patient and was just letting Mike do, what he got to do.

“Well, aren’t you a good, little, kitty?” Smiling to himself, Mike was satisfied with his work. He went back to his drawers, rummaging around for materials to use as a makeshift bed. But, he was distracted by the constant purring and meowing coming from below him.

Lo and behold, the little kitten was rubbing itself on Mike’s boot! Mike can’t help the smile that formed on his face. The kitten was looking up at him, and Mike can see now just how cute it is. Little droplets of water fell, and the feline jumped away from him. In his haste to rescue the little one, he forgot that he is beyond soaking.

* * *

_“HHAAAACHHOOOOOOOOOOO!”_

“Wow, I’ve never seen cold that bad! Just look at your nose!” Hange exclaimed, looking at a red-nosed Mike.

“Sh…top.. it…” Mike said, sniffing. It’s just his luck to have a very runny nose.

“Come now, Hange. We should let him rest.” Erwin said, motioning to leave the room. With his freshly vacated chair, the cat finally had a way to get onto Mike’s bed.

“Oooh! Look at Little Mikey!” Nanaba exclaimed, pointing at the white furball. “Awe! He likes you?”

Mike wished he had the energy to tell Nanaba off, but that would just open a tiring dialogue. Still, Mike is curious to know why they call this kitty Little Mikey. Before he could ask, though, Erwin beat him to it.

“Little Mikey?”

“He sniffs everything.” Gelgar explained, and they all just nodded. Of course.

“Guess with your nose out of commission, this little one could come in handy.” Erwin said, before finally taking his leave. The rest followed, finally leaving Mike alone – well, he’s not truly alone.

The kitten climbed up the bed, and started sniffing everything! The pillow, the sheet, and Mike!

“Heh. Little Mik – HAACCHHOOOO!”


	10. Cupid Horse [Erwin Smith]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're in love with Erwin - everyone knows that. At least that's what Hange tells you. That's where Hange's basing her argument that you tell Erwin how you feel hinges on, after all. Let's just say Hange isn't the best wingman around - good thing there is one in the stables though.

“Eh, (Y/N), if you look at him any harder he’s going to melt.” Hange teased (Y/N) while they are having dinner.

“Shhh! People will hear!” The flustered (Y/N) whispered at Hange. “Seriously, don’t you have any control with that mouth of yours?”

It seems that (Y/N) was right to be worried. Hange’s voice seems to be attracting the attention of half the people at the mess hall.

“Relax, (Y/N)! Half the corps is already aware of your intentions to marry Erwin.” Hange said, patting (Y/N)’s arm. Clearly though, this caused the later more stress.

“I’m not intending to marry him…” (Y/N) said, puffing their cheeks. To be honest, though, they wouldn’t mind marrying Erwin. There’s just no way they’d tell Hange that!

To (Y/N)’s surprise, the shine in Hange’s eyes disappeared and a sinister cloud took over.

_Uh-oh._

Grabbing (Y/N)’s hands, Hange leaned over the table.

“You have to tell him.” Hange said, in the most serious way she could.

_*gulp*_ “Tell him what?” (Y/N) said, still trying to play dumb.

“Oho? You want me to say it out loud?”

“No! Alright! Arghh… I’ll tell him.”

* * *

It was the day after and (Y/N) still hasn’t done anything to fulfill what they told Hange. I mean, that wasn’t a promise anyway. Besides, (Y/N) don’t know how on earth they’re going to tell Erwin.

“Huh. Do I really have to?” (Y/N) wondered out loud. (Y/N) currently on stable duty today, meaning they’d have the stables to their self. Alone with their thoughts, great.

(Y/N) isn’t really sure when they started to like Erwin. They’d always admired the man, though, but feeling more than that? Not sure. It just happened. They’d blush whenever Erwin addresses them personally or would stare a little too long at Erwin. This didn’t go unnoticed by the rest of the corps. Especially with Hange in the know!

“This is Hange’s fault!” (Y/N) said, practically throwing hay at the poor horses. (Y/N) looked at the horse, and well, started talking to it whilst patting its head.

“Hange’s right, though. I think. I have to tell him.” The horse neighed in response as if it understood what (Y/N) said.

Pumping their fist in the air, with renewed resolve, (Y/N) decided to just go with it, and maybe practice how they’re going to tell Erwin.

(Y/N), trying their best to look the horse in the eye, began; “Commander Erwin… Ugh, no. That sounds too stiff. _Ehem_ … Erwin, sir? Hmmm? That’s better than the first one, right?” (Y/N) asked the horse.

“Erwin… I just .. want to say… to tell you that… I like you? I mean, of course, I like you. You’re amazing! Brave, and cool, and smart… and the fact that you’re handsome doesn’t hurt, too.” (Y/N)’s heart was pounding so fast, you’d think it was actually Erwin himself standing right there. The horse just tilted its head before bowing down to munch on some hay.

“What, that wasn’t good enough?” (Y/N) asked the horse, which doesn’t seem interested to look back at them.

_Hrmm!_ The sound of someone clearing their throat made (Y/N) jumped a mile. Looking at the source, (Y/N) wished a titan would just appear and swallow em. Why?

“Commander Erwin!” (Y/N) muttered _. Oh no. did he hear?_ Was running through (Y/N)’s head then. Erwin walked closer, stopping only when he was right beside (Y/N). Just then, the horse (Y/N) was practicing on earlier came up from eating to look at the two humans standing before him.

Erwin reached out at the horse, patting it gently, and suddenly smiling. “I like you too.”

(Y/N) froze. _What just happened?_ They thought.

The horse whinnied, seemingly pleased with what Erwin said. (Y/N) was still looking at Erwin, eyes wide. Erwin, then, glanced at (Y/N) before looking back at the horse.

“Of course, I like you too. You’re among the selfless. The most outstanding soldier – brave and kind. And call me selfish, but I find you staring at me during meal times rather rewarding.” Erwin said, glancing back at (Y/N).

(Y/N) was processing everything now. Did Erwin just confess?

“Wait. You’re not talking about this horse, are you?” (Y/N) asked, to which Erwin laughed.

“If I were, then this is one lucky horse – I heard you confessing to this mare.” Erwin teased.

_He heard!_ _He knows! But then … he did say he liked it back. No, he likes me too?_ (Y/N) blushed madly at the thought.

“What about you? Were you just talking to the horse? Who happened to be called Erwin, too?” Erwin asked, now full-on looking at (Y/N). The still scarlet faced soldier, then looked up at Erwin, all traces of nervousness gone. After all, they realized there was no need to worry anymore. Heck, Erwin confessed as well, right?

“No! I was just practicing. For… you.” They then gave Erwin a smile – a smile he forgot to include in the list of why he likes (Y/N).

As this was going on, a certain four-eyed someone was spying from outside the stables – glasses shining menacingly.

“Fufufufu… it is one lucky horse. It actually got those two to confess… Finally!”


	11. Humanity's Strongest [Levi Ackerman]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When words fail you, all you could do is hug him. He is, after all, just Levi in your arms.

It’s only ten in the morning? I feel like I’ve been cleaning for hours, yet time barely passed. I can’t stop fidgeting when I’m nervous. I’m literally a giant ball of nervous energy!

“You’re going to drive a hole on that desk is you wipe it one more time.” Came a voice behind me. I didn’t even notice someone coming in.

“Levi.” I let go of a deep sigh, and let go of my rag. “Aren’t you happy I’m cleaning?”

“Not when you’re only focusing on one spot. Or doing it out of nervousness.” He walked closer and sat down next to me. He looked at me, clearly encouraging me to talk.

* * *

“Tomorrow’s expedition seems bleak.” I said, dropping onto the chair beside him. It’s barely been a month since the last one and we’re off again. We’ve barely buried our dead – at least those that we could still burry.

“Aren’t all our expeditions like that?” He smirked at that. Of course, he’s right. A Survey Corps expedition is never complete without a single death or more. It’s not like we like it that way. Shit happens. There’s still a lot we don’t know about titans. Especially that a person could turn into one.

“I know.” It’s all I could say to that. “Did you come here to make me feel even worse?”

He grabbed my hands, which were still fidgeting, and held on to them. “Tomorrow will be different.” I looked at him as if he sprouted an extra head. I can’t believe it, Levi is being optimistic?

“What?” He asked, suddenly annoyed. His eyes giving that intense look I’ve always loved.

“Nothing.” Moving to intertwine my hands with his, I went on to do our ritual. The one we do before expeditions. “Promise you won’t die.”

He made a face at that, a mix of sadness and determination. His grip became firmer before he answered, “I promise. Promise you won’t die either.”

“Promise.” We both know it’s pointless – we can’t control anything out there. What we can do, however, is try. I was able to live through situations I never thought I could with just the thought of Levi. It makes me feel all warm inside to think that I have that same effect on him.

His hand traveled from mine to my face. “I know I tell you this every time, but be careful. Especially tomorrow, we might face the Armored Titan.” He’d never say it out loud, but I can read the worry in his face. I know it’s a reflection of mine.

“You too, humanity’s strongest.” His lips curved up at my use of that moniker. It is true, he is humanity’s strongest. I’ve seen him fight and it was the single, most encouraging thing I’ve ever seen. He’s like hope in human form.

Silence settled over us, and the comfort I’m used to feeling whenever I’m with him and he alone started to set it when we were so rudely interrupted.

“Oh, Captain Levi, Y/N!” It was Eld, followed by the rest of Levi’s squad. Their faces redden as their eyes settled on Levi and me. Yet another intimate moment interrupted. Levi and I straightened up, and I can see just the tiniest speck of red on Levi’s ears.

“Y/N, will you be having dinner with us?” Petra, ever friendly, asked. I nodded at that. It’s also our tradition to stay together as much as possible before an expedition. And I like that time spent here with his squad. Having Hange as my squad leader is certainly… annoying at times. See, she’s probably the only one with the guts to tease Levi.

“Ah, good evening.” Eren bowed as he joined us. He looks every bit like a normal boy. Nothing that would hint at his ability to become a titan.

Everyone was a little on edge, which is a given since we’ll be leaving the walls tomorrow. But not even that could stop Oluo from running his mouth off. Despite everything, it was nice having dinner with them. And certainly, sleeping in Levi’s arms is something I could never get tired of.

* * *

“Black flares!” I reported to Hange as we continued our journey. We’re on supply duty… or maybe canon duty? See, Erwin had the brilliant idea to capture the Armored Titan, which he was so sure would appear on this expedition. However, it wasn’t the Armored Titan.

“It’s almost decimated the whole right flank! It seems to look very feminine, aberrant too. It hasn’t eaten a single soldier, but dragged a bunch of other titans with it!” The soldier reported to us. Chaotic is an understatement.

“I see. Moblit! Fire the flare!” Hange commanded, before turning over to me, “Y/N, relay the news. You know which squad.”

“Yes!” Not everyone knows where Levi’s squad is positioned, but I’m amongst those that do. I took off and hurried to where Levi is. It didn’t take me long before spotting Levi.

“Message to pass along! Right flank recon has been destroyed! Pass this on, to the left.” I told him and his team the moment I was close enough. Thing is, Levi is the only one who really knows what’s going on. I had to censor the message.

“You heard Y/N Petra, go!”

“Yes, sir!” Petra dashed off to relay this info. Just when she started heading left, black flares went off.

“Eren, you fire it!” Levi commanded. I was already riding beside him the moment he finished.

“What a mess. We let it penetrate deep into our formation.” Levi said softly so that only I could hear.

“It isn’t the Armored one. Apparently, it’s leading along a pack of titans.” Black flares just won’t stop from going off now. “Be careful, Levi.” I told him before riding back to my squad.

“You too, Y/N.”

* * *

I was amazed at how composed I was during the whole ordeal. I was able to follow Hange’s every order and help set up our traps in a timely matter. And yes, not much shaking of hands now.

It didn’t take long before the screams of our fellow soldiers echoed through the forest, accompanied by the heavy thumping that could only belong to a titan. In a heartbeat, Levi and his squad appeared closely followed by the titan.

“Fire!” At Erwin’s command, a barrage of traps blasted onto the titan. Sparks flew and the smell of smoke wrapped around us. Levi dropped down beside me, a silent conversation going on between us, before joining Erwin on a branch above.

Attempts to extract whoever’s inside the Titan failed, due to its ability to harden its skin. Tsk, this is definitely harder than I thought.

“Y/N! We’ll be firing the canons, aim it at the wrists.”

“Yes!” Calibrating the canons is easy enough for me, and all that’s left to do is to load our explosives. Finally, free enough to take a proper look around, I saw Levi atop the titan’s head.

“Ooof. It’s really impossible to just use blades?” I asked Levi the moment I joined him.

“Yes. But that hardly matters. Hey!” He began, addressing whoever’s in this titan, “why not just come out? We don’t have time to waste. So… What do you think will happen to you now?”

I looked at Levi and as I expected, his eyes have that dangerous glint that never fails to give me shivers. Seeing him like this right now makes me very excited to be back home – in bed with him. Is that weird?

“Do you believe you can escape? I wish you’d consider all the trouble we’re going through… As I recall, you killed my troops in various ways. Did you find it fun? Right now, I’m having fun. Well, so are you, right? I think you can understand me. Oh right… I wanted to ask you something. Is it okay if we cut off your hands and legs? They’ll grow back, right? I’m talking about your limbs, not the Titan’s. We need you alive, after all…”

It was possibly the most terrifying Levi has ever been, I wouldn’t be surprised if –

“ _Gaaaahhhh!”_

“Y/N! Are you alright?” Levi inquired, grabbing my shoulders.

“Yes, just startled.” The titan went on screaming! Levi helped me get back to my feet before stomping on the titan. Which I doubt is the best idea.

“Levi!” I warned at the sight of three titans, sprinting towards us – well, at the titan whose head we’re still on.

“I got it!” Levi said before jumping off and get rid of the new titans. We didn’t get a chance to breathe, though, as more titans made their way towards us.

“Y/N, get out of there!” Levi screamed as these titans are after the same titan we were – the female titan. A blur of steam and titan limbs took over for the next few minutes.

* * *

“No!” It’s a failure. I can’t believe it! The female titan had other titans eat them.

“Tsk. All those deaths can’t be just for nothing.” Levi probably had the same thoughts as I do. It is a devastating waste of life. But what else can we do?

“I’ll go get my squad. Stay safe, Y/N.” All I could do was tell him the same thing.

It didn’t take long before we were rushing out of the forest. My mind was a mess, which isn’t great given where we were, but the flash of thunder-like light and a scream of a titan grabbed my attention.

“That’s Eren’s scream?” I wondered out loud… no! “Levi!”

“Y/N, stop!” Hange tried, but I’m already off my horse and on my way to where the sound and light was from. I have a really bad feeling about this!

It wasn’t difficult to make my way towards them, as Eren’s titan was making a racket that can be heard all over the forest. This is bad. Wherever he is, is Levi’s squad. And the Female Titan as well.

“Gunther?” No, this can’t be… Eld, Petra, and Oluo? Levi’s whole squad… “Levi, where are you?” Was he able to reunite with them before? I felt cold… I feel sick. Where is he?

The steady thumping of a titan’s footsteps can be heard nearby. I have to know what happened here. I got closer to where it was and saw Levi. “He’s alive!” Relief flooded me, however, it was short-lived. The female titan sensed Levi right behind it and went for him!

It was over in a flash. Levi blinded the titan and severed the muscles holding its arms up. However, I just now noticed someone else – a new recruit? She went in for the nape!

“Stop!” Levi and I screamed at the same time. I was too slow… Levi pushed her away and stopped the female titan’s hand. He was able to take Eren back, and we soon found ourselves rushing back to the others.

We stopped at a field to regroup – treat the injured and take count of the bodies. The bodies that we were able to retrieve. I’ve almost forgotten, but everyone in Levi’s squad is… gone. He was limping towards where their bodies were.

“Levi.” I wanted to tell him to stop. To take care of himself first. But I understand what is going through his mind right now. They were my friends, too.

* * *

Our travel back wasn’t pleasant. The dread of what’s waiting for us back home is also weighing down on our shoulders. And Levi was quieter than ever.

I made my way to the dining hall and found it empty. Of course, it would be, it’s only me, Levi and Eren here right now. Once I was done making tea, I went to Levi’s room. Laid on his desk was a couple of Survey Corps patches.

Setting the tea set down, Levi grabbed my hand before I could pour us a cup each. I felt his need of me in his touch.

“I wasn’t able to help them…” He said so softly I wouldn’t have heard it If I wasn’t sitting so close to him. I held his hand tighter, trying to make him feel what I was about to say.

“It’s not your fault.” A sight only me is privy to appeared before me. Tears welled around Levi’s eyes, and he looked as heartbroken as I feel.

“I know.” Where words fail us, actions didn’t. I pulled him into a hug, careful of his injured leg.

He grabbed me so hard as if I was the only connection to life and he should never let go. It started as a whimper, but soon he was crying. I was, too. What can I say? Definitely not _It’ll be alright_. But I told him that anyway.

Calming down a little, I was able to help him take off his gear and uniform. After bandaging his ankle, we laid down on his bed. Tired physically and emotionally. We were holding onto each other so tight.

He was sniffling, still not done mourning his fallen comrades.

“It’s okay to cry, Levi. In my arms, you’re not humanity’s strongest. You’re just Levi, the man I love.” I felt him nod, before kissing me. I didn’t care how tearful the kiss was. All I want to do is to make him feel home.

“Y/N, thank you.” I didn’t know it was possible, but he hugged me even tighter. “Thank you for keeping your promise.”

It was then that I decided to keep that promise forever. I’d do my best and live, I’ll make sure Levi won’t experience pain this great again.


	12. Stiff Peaks and Cookies [Hange Zoe]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day in the kitchen with Hange and Moblit absolutely will not end in disaster. Right?

“Why… won’t… you… get stiff!” It’s useless, my hands are tired. I’ve been at this for minutes now, and at this point, the sweat dotting my forehead will drop on it. 

“Ah… ahh Y/N…” Moblit uttered.

“Shut it.” I said sharply. He just kept on whining like a little puppy. Alright, I’m a Survey Corps soldier, dammit! I can keep going. I’ll just have to keep at it -

“Y/N!!!!!!”

“Oh no! Hange!” I finally turned to glare at Moblit. He had the audacity to look mad.

“I’ve been trying to warn you Y/N!” 

“Well, isn’t it your job to watch over Hange?” 

As we were bickering, Hange finally made her way inside the cramped kitchen. Waving around some metallic junk, Hange walked closer to us.

“I found them. Titan cookie cutters!” She declared, looking like she’s at the top of the walls pissing at everything that dared look at her. 

“Hange, we’re making a cake, not cookies.” I told her for the thousandth time. I know it’s pointless - there’s no stopping Hange once she’s decided on something.

“Eh? Cake? All I see is that white mess.” She said, clearly referring to the frosting I was slaving over.

“Hange, that’s frosting!” Moblit told her in my stead. Oh Moblit, I’m amazed at how he deals with Hange every day. He’s really the hero amongst us.

Hange just shrugged at that. She went on grabbing more flour, spreading it everywhere. I pretty much gave up after that. Come to think of it, I knew to want to bake a cake against Hange’s wishes was doomed from the start, thus the total absence of cake batter.

“See, this one looks like that titan we killed the other day. Look, Y/N!” Hange said, lifting a lump of cookie dough towards me. Honestly, it looks like a grumpy Levi to me.

“Let’s put hair on it.” I said, grabbing some of my white mess. Yes, I gave up on the frosting. Anyhow, I fashioned the cookie monster’s hair like Levi’s.

“That looks like Captain Levi.” Moblit commented. Uh-oh! Hange might begin a tirade on how it’s definitely a titan and -

“Hahaha! Yes, it does, doesn’t it? Just smaller than that shorty!” 

All I could do was smile and shake my head. I love days like these. We ended up baking too much and having too much flour and sugar on us. Which is fine, since none of our efforts was wasted. And we even got to use my not-so-stiff frosting.


	13. Behind Closed Doors [Erwin Smith]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Behind closed doors is a sight only meant for you.

“Look! That handsome man with the thick brows. That’s commander Erwin Smith.”

“Oh, I know! People call him Commander Handsome, you know?”

People - ladies mostly - are abuzz with excitement as we pass through Trost. We are on another journey toward the inner district to attend another budget meeting. The dreaded budget discussion. Erwin is prepared, of course. But it’s not like those in charge would listen right away.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Erwin asked me as we walked towards the boats.

“If I get pennies every time, we wouldn’t have to do this.” I hated these trips. Erwin takes me and my squad - plus Levi or occasionally Hange - to Zackley’s office for our budget reviews. And each time we had to act nice. Nice!

Erwin’s laugh reverberated. “I know you don’t like doing this, Y/N. But this is your job.”

“I know. Still, I’m not excited to see them.” All I did, basically, was complain. Night soon came, and we retired to the cabins. Yes, traveling from HQ to the inner walls could take days. But the fact that I share a room with Erwin definitely makes the trip worthwhile.

* * *

He was already on the bed, reading his proposals some more when I got there from the bathroom. And what a sight to behold, a freshly-showered Erwin whose ready for bed. Certainly a view just for me, and only behind closed doors.

“Still grumpy?” He asked, taking a break and finally putting away his files. He totally pulled me from my – ehem – dirty thoughts, back to the impending meeting with the bigshots.

“I’m not grumpy... I’m just not excited to see the higher-ups. They’re going to give us a hard time justifying our budget. Again.” I flopped onto the bed, facing Erwin.

He followed suit and now raised a hand to my face. “Just imagine them all with Levi’s face.” He said, trying to put on the most serious expression he could, something Levi does all the time.

I can’t stop but laugh at that. “Imagine Roderich talking about the stupid walls with Levi’s face. Gosh, wouldn’t that be a treat?”

“Feeling better already?”

“A little.” I turned around, and like clockwork, Erwin proceeded to hug me from behind. Let me tell you, this is one of the best feelings in the world. Being wrapped around the pair of strong arms of the man that loves you… divine!

Kissing my shoulders and the back of my neck, he went on; “is it really bad? Taking these trips?” This is the Erwin no one else gets to see.

“Mmm… Nights like these make it worthwhile.” His lips didn’t leave my skin, and his hands started to roam over my body.

“Erwin…” When he’s like this it’s really difficult to control myself or even think of anything else. Giving in to my desires, I turned around to face him and grabbed his face. Finally kissing him.

It sucks but we had to come up for air every now and then. “You’re really in the mood tonight, huh?” I teased him in between gasps for air.

Nipping at my lips once… twice, Erwin answered, “you’ve been in a bad mood all day, Y/N. I figured you needed a little something to put you in a good mood.” Hovering over me, he continued kissing me.

I wanted to tease him and say that he wanted this more than I do, but I’m not gonna pull away for that. I savored every moment instead. His warm and plush lips against mine, and the taste I’m so familiar with and love. All of my senses are filled with Erwin and I won’t have it any other way.

I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him ever closer to me. He moved to kissing and sucking my neck. Want and desire for more started to take over me and I just can’t wait anymore! “Erwin… ah – I need you…”

* * *

I woke up in a tangle of limbs. I can’t believe I had the audacity to blush after what Erwin and I did. Still, he definitely improved my mood a thousand times over.

“Good morning, love.” Erwin said the moment he opened his eyes.

“Morning.” I moved in to kiss him. It was chaste, and certainly the opposite of what we did just a few hours earlier. But it was enough to reignite the fire. Goodness, when have I become like this?

I made a move to stand and get ready for the day, however, Erwin had other ideas. “Y/N, stay.” And he did not need to say more. The way he looked at me made me weak in the knees. And hey, who am I to say no?

* * *

Sadly, we had to get up and eat and also maybe do our jobs. We won’t land until early tomorrow, but we still had a lot to do. Erwin and I made our way into the dining hall, hand in hand.

“Good morning.” Mike greeted us the moment we sat down. And he had the biggest shit-eating grin ever.

“What’s funny?” I asked, catching my interest. He just shrugged at that. The others were already halfway through their meal when we got there, still, the chatter was the same as usual. Well, almost.

Moblit is definitely red like a tomato, and for some reason kept looking at me and Erwin. But when I look at him, he would look at literally anything else. I couldn’t stand it!

“Moblit, what’s wrong with you?” Moblit was so startled at my question he spilled water on himself. He’s so jumpy and honestly, he looked like he wanted to be anywhere else.

“Ah Y/N! Nothing… Just ah – don’t mind me.” He answered yet he still wouldn’t look me in the eye. Erwin decided to ask the others and I honestly wish he didn’t.

Hange answered “Eh, you see the cabin’s walls are thin. And Moblit… Let’s just say his next-door neighbors were very noisy last night.”

Oh my god… but Hange wasn’t done yet. “Actually, the whole boat could hear… Everything.

I was speechless. And despite my desire to look at Erwin, I stopped myself. Just when I thought I couldn’t be more embarrassed, Levi called my attention. Looking me straight in the eye, in his most intense glare yet, he said something that just about stopped my heart.

“Y/N, you were really loud and graphic. All of us heard unsolicited descriptions of your nightly activities.”

Needless to say, Erwin and I never heard the end of this.


	14. Words Unsaid [Levi Ackerman]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hell seems to break loose once Levi and Y/N parted. Feelings they kept secret for years would probably remain just that - secrets.

She never thought she’d miss fighting titans. It was horrible, yes, but it was her normal. This – the existence of other humans and other nations – is so new and confusing! It’s been four years, yet Y/N can barely keep up with all the changes.

She knows it’s bad, being a soldier and not being able to adapt much. Still, Y/N tries. But then Eren went rogue and started that shitshow in Liberio. The politics of it all is lost on Y/N, but she does know that it only put a spotlight on them. What’s more, is that they lost one of their veteran fighters and close friend, Sasha.

The only thing Y/N is positively thankful for is how she got a lot closer to Levi in the last four years. Going through hell the way they did is bound to do that to people.

* * *

She remembered it as if it was just yesterday – Levi took her and her 104th cadet corps classmates under his wing after Reiner and Bertholdt reveal themselves to be titan shifters. Y/N won’t deny that she was intimidated by Levi, and occasionally scared of him. Still, it’s difficult to not admire the man. Levi is really someone who –

“Oi! You look constipated. Need to use the can?” Levi pulled Y/N off her thoughts with one of his well-known jokes. Y/N made a face at that, but ultimately just ignored it, opting to tell Levi something she’s been meaning to all day.

“I don’t trust that monkey.” She said firmly like nothing could possibly ever change her mind.

“I don’t, either.” Levi answered as he continued putting rations in his pack. Y/N decided to give him a hand and grabbed water canisters for Levi. “I don’t like you being alone with him.”

Levi finally stopped and stared at Y/N for a long time. Releasing a heavy sigh, and shoulders drooping with all the weight and responsibility he’d been carrying for years, Levi tried to reassure her.

“I won’t be alone with him. Thirty fully armed soldiers will be with me.” They were quiet as they continued their preparation. See, the residents within the Walls – residents of Paradis Island – finally took a move against those formerly aligned with Marley.

A bag of tea leaves was the last thing to go in Levi’s pack, and their silence was now accompanied by their stillness. Which is the opposite of Y/N’s heart. Restless is an understatement. She knows Levi can handle himself, however this Zeke posses’ power they’ve never seen before.

“I know you’re worried, Y/N. Things are becoming more unpredictable. But I need you to focus on your task.” Levi told her, gentler this time. Because, unknown to Y/N, Levi actually enjoys her company. Still, getting closer to her is both exciting and terrifying to Levi. “Stop worrying about me and focus on your task. And stay alert… stay safe.”

“Fine.” Y/N wanted to say a lot more than that but decided against it. Levi is right, after all. It won’t do her much good if her minds keep on wondering. Besides, she and those left from the 104th class has to deal with Eren.

“Well, I’m off.” Levi was just about to open the door and leave when Y/N found herself calling after him. Why? Y/N doesn’t know why she called Levi – there’s nothing else to say now, is there? She thought about telling Levi how she feels – since years ago – but that sounded like they’re saying goodbye for good.

“What?” Levi only received a shake of her head. Still, the silence spoke volumes. Levi echoes the same thoughts Y/N has at that moment. He stalled at the door, deciding what to do and – oh, fuck it, threw caution to the wind.

“Uh! – “All Y/N could do was make a meek sound of surprise. Levi reached out and hugged her. It was over in an instant, and Y/N was left confused as Levi rushed out red-faced.

* * *

“Y/N!”

“Yes?” Y/N was out of it. Her last interaction with Levi still sketched in her mind. Overthinking every detail, she even lost sleep on why Levi would do that?

“Let’s go.” Hange tried to get her attention again. Finally, Y/N decided that she’d just ask Levi when they see each other again. And she should do what Levi asked and focus on the task at hand.

See, a bunch of soldiers – mostly new recruits – released information about the Liberio incident to civilians and journalists. Naturally, people started to harangue the Survey Corps, especially Commander Hange. Hange, Y/N and some soldiers are about to face the bunch of soldiers who are dubbed Jaegerists.

What’s more, is that General Zackley was murdered by these fanatics of Eren. It literally was a shitshow and whirlwind of events these past days. And the fact that Y/N still hasn’t heard from Levi is starting to get onto her.

And as a cherry on top, Eren escaped his underground prison. Making their way to the horses, Y/N made her thoughts known. “We couldn’t possibly trust Zeke, after everything that Yelena and the rest did.” Still, she was most worried about Levi.

“Of course.” Hange agreed, “we have to be thorough. If we don’t want to be played like fools, we have to expose Zeke’s scheme.”

“How do we do that? Inquired Armin.

“We have to talk to the other Marleyans, of course.”

They ended up at the restaurant – a place where Marleyans more or less felt at home. Y/N would like to say that everything went peachy afterward – they got exactly what they wanted, drank wine and ate good food, exposed Zeke and got rid of him, and got all the happiness they deserved. Alas, it’s just where things got worse than they thought possible.

Turns out, the Wine the Marleyans gave out were contaminated with Zeke’s spinal fluid – and any Eldian who drank it would turn to mindless titans whenever Zeke wants them to.

Which brings them to their current predicament.

“Do you think this will work? Water will really wash it out?” Y/N asked Jean as she tried washing off the blood from the boy’s face and mouth. Hange was busy with filling the tub with water and telling Onyankopon what to do.

“I don’t know.” Jean answered her all business. Clearly, his mind is on the whatever Zeke has planned.

Nervousness started to spread from Y/N’s nape down to her toes. Zeke is effectively threatening every Eldian here with his _spine-wine_ despite being far away. “Levi… they could be in trouble.” Y/N said but was interrupted by a scuffle outside.

“Hange!” Jean and Y/N shared a look. Hange went to see what it’s about.

“What is it?” Hange inquired. “Wha -?! Floch?” Jean and the others can’t help their curiosity now, even Y/N. Making sure the kid won’t drown, Y/N also went to look. Surprised? Yes, anyone would be if they see themselves at the end of several rifles.

“Commander. You must know where Zeke is. You’re going to take us to him.” Floch said, all business. He seriously looked ready to shoot and kill them. But Y/N couldn’t care less about that. This can’t happen – these Jaeger loyalists shouldn’t be anywhere near Zeke! Especially now that Levi’s with Zeke.

Before Y/N could do anything though, Hange took over. “Listen, we’re not trying to oppose you. Didn’t you get the proposal from the corps?”

“Yes. And we declined it. We don’t negotiate with the corps.”

“And why’s that?” Hange said, eyes wandering over all the hostile soldiers.

“Eren’s decision.” By this point, Y/N is no longer paying much attention. Her thoughts are running wild on how she could get to Levi and warn him. She could go back inside – pretend to still care for the boy they were helping earlier. Y/N is pretty sure there’s a small window she could sneak out of. And then …

They were pushed at gunpoint. Floch knocked at a door in the restaurant – one of the many private party rooms – “We’re leaving.” A voice which sounded a lot like Eren’s answered, “Okay.”

Y/N was shoved in a carriage with the injured Marleyan kid and Hange. Why? Floch decided that Y/N will be more likely to cooperate than just Hange. Floch knows Y/N would want to see Levi as soon as possible.

After stopping first at the Cadet training camp, they continued towards the general location of Levi’s camp. Y/N wanted so badly to talk to Hange and plan. Some way to get rid of Floch. Y/N could barely glance at Hange without one of the Jaeger loyalists – Jaegerists – pointing a gun at her or threaten her.

They reach a river, and as they were crossing a small bridge, something exploded in the distant.

“What is that?”

“A lightning strike?”

While they were distracted, Hange and Y/N were finally able to share a look. It wasn’t a lightning strike, it’s a thunder spear.

“There must be something happening in the direction where the sound comes from.” Floch announced. Y/N wanted to rush there more than anything, but she must act smart.

They came upon a steaming titan, injured horses, and a blown cart.

“Y/N, Commander Hange, please don’t move around on your own.”

Y/N mind was a blank yet chaotic at the same time. Her eyes scanning all around. Thunder spears mean someone from Levi’s squad was here – or Levi himself. And that was when Y/N saw it – the wings of freedom!

Someone was lying at the river bank wearing the green cape of the Survey Corps.

“Someone’s over there!” Y/N yelled, voice shaking. Y/N has a sickening feeling that it’s Levi. “Hey! Are you still alive?” Y/N’s heart stopped the moment she turned the person’s face towards her. “Levi?”

Shards of the iron bamboo were embedded on Levi’s bloody face. “No…” Y/N was rushing to check Levi’s state, and more importantly if he’s still breathing. Y/N didn’t even notice Hange at her side. Levi still has a pulse, weak, but it’s still there.

“I have no idea what happened… but we’re lucky. Our number one threat is here all bloodied up.”

“Let’s shoot him in the head.” Y/N instantly moved to shield Levi with her body. Mind rushing to plan to escape. Hange told Floch that Levi’s dead. While she was busy convincing Floch and the others, Y/N was still stumped as on what to do. The river?

“I can also take his pulse. So let me have a look.” Floch was starting to walk closer, making Y/N stand defensively.

“Move aside.”

“No.” Y/N was standing firmly. She won’t back down even when Floch pointed a gun at her. “No.”

Floch’s finger was about to pull the trigger when someone called him. “Floch! There’s something weird with this Titan!” At their distraction, Hange and Y/N decided to take Levi and escape, hoping the water won’t kill the injured Levi.

\---

“He’s not breathing!” Hange said, and that was all Y/N needed to hear to take over. She began to give him chest compressions and mouth-to-mouth. “Breathe! Please, Levi…” Desperation was what kept her running. “You can’t die yet. No…”

Y/N’s mind was filled with memories of her and Levi, just drinking tea together or cleaning his office… and their brief hug. Y/N wasn’t even able to tell him how she feels.

A beat… faint, but it is there. “His heart!” Y/N exclaimed and can’t help the laughter that escaped her. It was certainly a combination of relief and stress.

“We need to find shelter… and to get warm and dry.” Hange said despite knowing that she’d be the one to do that. There’s no way Y/N would leave Levi. Of all people, Hange is the one who surely understands – she’s the one to catch all their longing glances towards each other after all!

* * *

They – mostly just Hange – were able to find an abandoned and run-down cottage. The single cot was only big enough to fit Levi. Both Hange and Y/N had to settle for the rickety chairs or just lay down their capes as makeshift blankets.

Y/N never left Levi’s side. It’s been two days and he still hasn’t woken up. His injuries are not good, still, he’s alive. And Y/N is very thankful for that.

“I’m heading out now.” Hange announced as she set off to scavenge for food. Good thing there is a lot of fish in the river and some wild mushrooms and root crops near the cottage.

“Okay. I’ll be right here.” Hange was about to say something else but decided against it. Nodding at Y/N, she went out. It was becoming their routine. Y/N feels guilty about leaving all that work to Hange, but she can’t exactly leave Levi.

She began to clean Levi’s wound for the day. Long gushes and deep wounds now cover his face. Y/N made sure to take all the blade shards, still, Levi would have to live with these scars. And his hands! He lost tips of his fingers. Y/N don’t know if he would still be able to do the things he once was.

Y/N busied herself with repairing what’s left of Levi’s 3DM gear. They need to survive, and it’ll be difficult without a single weapon. There are barely any usable pieces of blades left as well. Y/N’s mind was on strangling Floch when rustling sounds reached her ears.

“Y/N…”

“Levi!” Y/N literally dropped everything. Levi’s voice was weak and so unlike him. “How do you feel?” She asked, moving closer to inspect him.

“I feel like shit…” This answer gave Y/N some relief she needed. Levi sounds a lot like himself already. “That crazy monkey, he turned them all into titans.” Levi had a far-off look on his face, probably thinking about his fellow soldiers.

“He really did, huh? It was the wine. Everyone who drank it also ingested Zeke’s spinal fluid.”

Levi finally turn to look at Y/N. “You didn’t have any of it, did you?” Before Y/N could answer, Levi tried to reach out to her… and noticed his hand for the first time. A good part of his index and middle fingers are missing – the very fingers use to hold his blades.

Levi was quiet, almost very quiet. Y/N didn’t know what to say, so she just grabbed Levi’s hand. What do you say to someone who just went through what Levi did?

“You’re okay now. I’m sorry we didn’t come earlier…” Feeling of guilt wash over Y/N, “I should have been with you.”

Levi gripped her hand as hard as he could, and his stare was more piercing than usual that Y/N is sure Levi can read all her thoughts and feelings.

“Don’t. It’s not your fault. We had no idea it was gonna end up this way.”

“Still, it’s not a good feeling.” Y/N answered quietly. Neither of them noticed how tight their hands were intertwined by then. Surely a sign of the feelings that remain unspoken.

“Thank you, by the way. I’m probably only alive because of you, Y/N.” It was at that moment Y/N heart stopped. Levi just gave her a smile so sincere and gentle; it took her breath away. Y/N can’t stop the smile that appeared on her lips – a smile so big her cheeks hurt.

“I’m sure you’d do the same for me.”

* * *

It was a quiet couple of days. Levi was recovering quickly, and Hange was finally able to take longer breaks since Y/N is now able to forage and hunt.

“We need to have a plan.” Levi declared one night as they were having some squirrels for dinner. “If Jaegerists are successful in taking over, we can assume that no help would come. It’s up to us.”

“You’re right. I still have connections in Trost, though. I just have to get in touch with them.” Hange was clearly already planning everything. She has that focused looked of hers, something she usually gets when her mind is on capturing titans.

“I can get in contact with them for you.” Said Y/N, taking both Hange and Levi by surprise.

“No.” Levi said firmly, clearly unhappy about the proposition.

“What do you mean no? You and Hange are too recognizable. I doubt anyone would pay attention to me.”

“No. Floch and Onyankopon know who you are. It’s too risky.”

“Well, it’s better me than Humanity’s strongest or Commander Hange now, is it?”

Sensing the sudden onslaught of tension, Hange made a wise decision of getting out of there quickly. “Let’s talk it over more tomorrow morning. Rest up you two! I’ll take first watch.” And off she goes.

“Look, I know I can do this. I’m also a soldier like you, remember?” Y/N hissed. Unhappy being an understatement. She was unmoving on her spot on the dingy cot – something Levi absolutely detest – and was trying to avoid Levi’s eyes. She’s not sure what she was expecting to happen, but she does know that she just wants them… Levi to trust her to do this.

Levi let go of a deep sigh, and after shaking his head, he went on to sit beside Y/N. “I know you’re more than capable. You’re one of the most talented people I know.”

“Then why?” The brewing annoyance inside Y/N seems to disappear the moment she laid her eyes on Levi. Concern was evident on his face, and that took her by surprise.

Quietly, almost inaudibly Levi let go of his frustration. “Fuck it…” He turned, eyes burning with all the pent-up emotions he gathered throughout the years, “I don’t want anything to happen to you. You’re the... most important person to me. Has been for quite a while now. And I’ll be damned if I let you walk out that door and get caught up in all this shit!”

Y/N felt like she forgot how to breathe. It’s like both her chest and throat was burning! And she never thought she wanted to hear just what Levi said, but it was something she really needed to hear. “So, you don’t doubt me?”

“No, of course not. I just want you to be safe. As safe as we all could be anyway.” It was when Y/N finally gave in to her urges and launched herself on Levi, engulfing him in a big hug. Tears of happiness and relief were threatening to spill from her eyes, so she buried her face more on Levi’s chest. She felt his hand hesitantly pat her back… before he did it again, and again and it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

Seemingly coming to her senses, Y/N pulled away, “I… um I’m sorry about that.”

Shaking his head, he brought his hand to Y/N’s face, caressing her cheeks in a very sweet and warm gesture. “Don’t you think we ought to be more honest to each other now?”

Y/N’s laughter rang around the room, bring warmth and joy to the clearly crappy little cottage. “I guess you’re right.” And it was like words were no longer necessary. Suddenly, everything seems to make sense and both Levi and Y/N are thankful that everything happened the way they did as it brought both of them here and now.

It was only natural for Y/N to close her eyes, and for Levi to close the gap between them. The kiss was light as a feather at first, as if they’re both testing the waters. But that little gesture broke the dam, and every feeling they ever had for each other came pouring out.

It was passionate and loving; Levi felt a thirst like no other and he was seeking relief from Y/N’s lips. They let this action talk for them, still, it wasn’t enough. At one point they had to come up for air as if they were drowning – drowning in each other’s affection.

“I love you.” They said, almost at the same time. And they know and felt in that moment that whatever happens, whoever wins this blasted war, the two of them would never regret a thing as the words that went unsaid for years are now laid out.

“I love you.”


	15. Steaks and Tomatoes [Erwin Smith]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who knew being part of the Survey Corps would require you to attend a big party in Wall Sina?

You can’t deny that this wedding is probably the biggest event within the walls. Alright, maybe that’s an exaggeration. Still, it is the very first event you’ll be attending where the buffet could feed your whole hometown for months.

See, by being a part of Hange Zoe’s squad you thought you’d be sticking to helping her with her eccentricities or assisting Moblit in reigning her in but no. You get roped into doing something you never thought soldiers do.

The Survey Corps need money. It comes from either the Government and Taxes or Noble families’ donations. The Regiment needs to keep their benefactors happy – that includes showing up to their events. How they got benefactors in the first place is a wonder to you, considering their reputation.

Which brings you to where you are now. Hange is absolutely tied up in her lab, insisting she can’t possibly leave it all behind. You doubt it, but you can’t exactly go against your superior now, can you? Besides, the mention of a lavish food spread is very inviting. Living off on broth, soup, and bread is tiresome.

* * *

Thing is, you’re surrounded by a handful veteran and the Survey Corps’ Commander himself. You being the only rookie is making you sweat just standing near them. These are battle-hardened soldiers, and you totally don’t know them. Still, if you could stuff your face with cake and steak, you think you can forgive Hange in making you come in her stead.

Sitting at one of the many sitting rooms of the house the Corps is staying at, you were trying to control your nerves. You are not only going to be surrounded by the richest people within the walls, but also by the highest-ranking officers of all the military branches – especially Commander Erwin.

Despite being a member of the Survey Corps, and a sort-of assistant to Hange Zoe, you don’t really know the Commander. You only see him when you bring him documents from Hange – and he is always busy to do more than some small talk – or at the mess hall when he got the time to actually eat.

Still, you can’t help yourself. It’s really hard not to like him. He really is dreamy, especially in his uniform. This just makes you more nervous being here without anyone you actually know.

“Interesting book?”

“Ah! Commander Erwin!” You stood at attention and saluted him on instinct.

Erwin actually chuckled at that. “At ease, Y/N.” He went on to sit and gestured for Y/N to do the same. “That seems to be an interesting book, you’ve had your nose buried in it for a while.” He said with a smile.

“Oh, yes. It’s about the Royal Family. Uhm, anything I can do for you, sir?” You asked, flustered and confused. Has Erwin been watching you? You can’t help the slight excitement bubbling within you – you honestly don’t know what to expect.

“No. I just wanted to check up on you. It’s your first time here in Stohess, right?” Erwin inquired, features all relaxed. You can’t help but admire Erwin’s features now that you’re able to see him relaxed and this close.

“Yes. I’ve never been outside of Wall Rose – aside from our expeditions, sir. Everything seems extravagant in here.” Finally setting aside your book, you focused your attention to him.

“It does, doesn’t it? Took me a while to get used to it. Almost made a fool of myself at my first event here.”

“Really? What happened?” You asked, completely forgetting that Erwin is several ranks above you.

“Well, it was also a wedding. The first one I attended within Wall Sina, actually. They had these amazing fresh tomatoes served with their steak; it was just simply one of the best I’ve seen, very red and plump.”

“Wow. I suddenly miss having tomatoes.” You commented, sad of the fact that you never get any fresh vegetables with your meals at the headquarters.

“I felt the same way then! See, I got excited and bit into it before closing my mouth and, oh gosh… That thing was like a spout firing a small wave of tomato guts all the way across the table and right in the perfect center of Commander Shadis’ shirt. Which happens to be very white.”

“Oh my god!” You can’t help the laugh coming out of you. “I can’t believe -!” you can’t finish your sentence as all your breath is spent on just laughing. And you found it adorable how Erwin’s face right now is red – possibly as red as the tomato he ate that day.

“I was very fortunate it was just the former Commander and not any of our sponsors.”

“I’ll be sure to stay away from anyone wearing white when I eat a tomato.” You smiled at Erwin, the nervousness you’ve been feeling all day, now totally gone. And it’s like you’re seeing your commander in a new light. So, he’s not always the prim and proper Commander; he can be clumsy as well.

“That would be smart. Or just don’t bite a tomato that way.” He said, smiling at you. You never thought a day like this would come, you and Erwin Smith having a friendly conversation, and him talking about what was probably one of his most embarrassing moments.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

You spent the rest of your day actually talking with Erwin, with him making you promise you’d call him by his first name. Then you reminding him of the huge gap between your ranks, so you two had to compromise. You’d call him Erwin whenever you drop off stuff to his office or whenever you two aren’t in any formal situation. Definitely, something you didn’t see happening on this trip!

* * *

“I look… weird.” You said, looking at yourself in the huge floor-to-ceiling mirror. You are outfitted in your long military coat – instead of the cropped one worn daily and on expeditions – and it feels like you’re being swallowed by it. You don’t really get to go on occasions which requires you to wear it so you’re not used to it.

You put your hair in a bun, trying to smooth out the short, stray hairs. A deep sigh escaped you, “this is as good as it’s gonna get.”

* * *

It truly was a lovely wedding. Very extravagant. You’ve never seen that much flowers indoors before! And the bride – she had the fluffiest and probably heaviest wedding gown. You had a lot of things to say about the whole event, sadly, you’re sat beside Squad Leader Mike who was more interested in sniffing you and everyone else than having a conversation.

After the ceremony, the whole wedding party went on to the reception which was at the groom’s family’s house – mansion, really. You were a little wary about having to seat beside Mike again, good thing someone came to rescue you.

“Y/N. Want to sit together?” Erwin asked you, and you said yes right away.

“That ceremony was lovely. I can’t believe there are people who would actually invite around three hundred guests to a wedding. And feed all of them, too.” It really was fascinating. You just can’t imagine how much that could possibly cost.

“It was. Probably the biggest one the Corps has been invited to. Look, at that table there.” Erwin gestured to a table near the newlyweds, “that’s Darius Zackley.”

“The Supreme Commander?”

“Yes. All high-ranking officials seem to be invited. So as a lot of noble families.” At that, Erwin suddenly had this serious look – the one he wears whenever he’s talking strategy or filling out paperwork.

“What’s wrong?” You can’t help but wonder why.

“We have some competition.” He said, just as the appetizers were served. That caught you off-guard.

“Competition? What do you mean?” You asked in between bites of the most amazing Mushrooms stuffed with sausage.

“During events like these, we try to get sponsors. Our branch needs it a lot more than the others, but that doesn’t mean they’d back down.” Erwin gave you a lopsided grin, and your heart almost stopped.

“I see. That’s… sad.” You added, before thinking it over some more. You do know about donations, but not about the whole sponsorship deal. Or is that the same thing? “How do we get sponsors, exactly?”

“For one, entertain them. Make them feel important. Sometimes it’s really easy, just praise their clothes or jewelry. Others can be a little more complicated. We had someone that wanted to be a Squad Leader in exchange for being a sponsor.”

“Without training? Just, give us funds?” By now, the second course was brought out. And as much as you really wanted to focus on the biggest serving of steak you’ve ever seen, you can’t help but pay attention to Erwin. Ignoring the red and plump tomatoes that were just served. 

“Well, yes. But the title’s on paper only. The thing is, we have to keep them happy.”

“Interesting.” You looked around the venue, and it’s quite obvious who’s rich, who’s in the military, and who are merchants that somehow made the guest list. “Who do you think we should target tonight?” You asked the commander, wiggling your brows a bit. This is starting to sound like a mission – and a very interesting one at that!

A chuckle escaped Erwin’s throat. “Very enthusiastic, eh Y/N? Let’s see…” Erwin looked around, “ah, Mrs. Rothsome. One of the richest noble ladies within the walls.”

“So, what’s the plan, Commander?”

* * *

“You sure this would work?” You asked Erwin as the two of you walk closer to where Mrs. Rothsome is. “I’m not exactly dressed to dance.” Every other girl who isn’t in the military were wearing dresses.

“Don’t worry, you look beautiful.” That gave both of you pause. “I mean, ah… you look lovely – “ Erwin was starting to redden at the cheeks and you’re sure you are the same.

“I, uh, thank you.” And the two of you were like fools, standing stiffly in the middle of the dance floor.

“My, Erwin Smith? It’s good to see you again!” A booming feminine voice interrupted whatever was starting between you and Erwin.

“Mrs. Rothsome, lovely to see you again.” Erwin greeted her, and wow, Erwin really is charming. “Oh, let me introduce you two. Mrs. Rothsome, this is Y/N L/N. One of our most promising soldiers.”

“Oh my, I can’t believe someone like you go out the walls and fight titans, dear. Don’t let Erwin work you to death.” The rich lady said in a laugh very fitting for someone of her social standing – a kind of laugh that demands a lot of attention. 

You took a look at Erwin as if asking for advice on how to deal with Mrs. Rothsome. Erwin smiled at you, which didn’t fail to encourage you. “It’s not a problem, Er – Commander Erwin is very fair and considerate. Greatest superior anyone could ask for.” You said sincerely, so you made it a point to look at Erwin. He really is an amazing Commander.

“Ah, young love.” Mrs. Rothsome said, holding onto yours and Erwin’s hand in each of hers.

“What?” Both you and Erwin said at the same time.

“No need you deny it you two, I can see it a mile away. Now let’s talk about how I can help out the Survey Corps.”

“Of course.” Erwin said, still a bit flustered by what the lady said before. You just stayed quiet because, well, what else could you say?

One thing you could do is thank Hange once you get back, though, because you now got a huge donation and you even got a lot closer to Erwin. A lot closer, indeed.


	16. The Ultimatum [Levi Ackerman]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wanted to prove that you deserve being one of the Survey Corps soldiers. You're not someone who needs constant saving. Levi doesn't see it that way, though.

I feel like I could drop dead any minute now. Both my arms and legs are very heavy. Ugh. I think I'll just stay here….

"Oi, Y/N." I felt the tip of a boot nudge me on my face. How rude.

"Just… leave me here to die…" I said, sneaking a peek at Levi. From my position on the floor, I could barely even see his knees. Great. I felt him grab my hand – no, my arm and help me sit upright.

"You idiot. I can't believe after last week you'll go right back into doing this again." Uh-oh, it's the start of a Levi lecture. I finally got on my feet, and if I had the energy I would be whining and complaining. And the moment I finally looked into Levi's face; I can read the worry clearly. Great. Now I am tired and full of guilt.

"I know. I'm sorry." Yes, all I could look at was the floor in shame. It wasn't supposed to turn out this way. I started training harder to become less of a burden to Levi – to be able to do more during expeditions. But here we are, two weeks in and Levi had to drag me from the training hall.

The walk back to our shared room wasn't pleasant. Levi is being… talkative, which is a lot more unnerving than when he's silent. He won't stop talking about how everyone is constipated or how we should have training sessions for cleaning.

Unceremoniously throwing my boots to a corner of our room, I started undoing my annoying straps. I really should stop training in full uniform.

"Tsk." Levi clucked his tongue, putting away my boots properly. And now I have him cleaning after me! Get it together, Y/N! I made sure to set my straps properly aside and put my dirties in our hamper – separating the colored from the whites. The least I could do for Levi is to take care of myself.

* * *

The moment I pulled my sleeping gown on I dropped on the bed. Fighting against everything my body wants me to do, I gestured for Levi to join me in bed. I looked at him just in time to see him taking off his day clothes. Yeah, the sight of his abs woke me up a bit.

In a huff, he finished changing and sat down on our bed. "What has gotten into you, Y/N? You suddenly upped your training routine – so much so that you look like you're already half dead."

I turned on my back, finally able to look him straight in the eyes. The eye bags under his eyes look a little more prominent. "Nothing. I just think it's something a soldier like us should do, you know?"

"When correctly paced and scheduled, yes. But you just… you do it until you're like this." He gestured at me, making sure my eyes go where his does – the bruises on my arms and legs that are already darkening like berries. "You stop only when you pass out!"

I really have nothing to say to that… but the expedition is in two days! I think I should put in more hours, actually. I can't have a repeat of the last expedition. I can't just wait for Levi to save my ass. We're both soldiers for goodness' sake!

He sighed for probably the thousandth time today, before lying down beside me. "Just, promise you won't do anything stupid." He grabbed my hand, eyes full of affection and worry. My chest felt so tight from it… and maybe from the guilt as I can't promise him what he wants me to.

"Ugh!" What is up with these titans?! I can't help but think that they seem a lot stronger than the ones before. I'm sure it's all just in my head, still, all that training should be helping! But I'm still the same weak, pathetic idiot. Levi's voice can't help but ring in my mind, saying I told you so. This is why I should've had a better training routine, all this time I just tired myself out. How can I be so reckless?

"Titans have already taken over the left platoon. Pass this message to the right."

"Y/N, you heard the man, pass it on!" My squad leader Mike told me and I obeyed right away. "Nanaba, you fire the flare!"

The squad to our right is Levi's Special Operations Squad, accompanied by the squad assigned to wagon duty. Best way to protect the supplies is to have it with the best soldier. I'm still a little bitter I wasn't handpicked by Levi… but that's not important.

"Message, Captain!" I yelled the moment I got within earshot. "Titans have taken over the left platoon!" Levi nodded, telling Gunther to pass the message and Olou to fire the flare.

"You look horrible." Levi said flatly. It hurts, but he's right. I started to steer my horseback where we came from, but Levi stopped me. "You can stay here. Mike won't mind." I can't do that… he'll be looking after me again. I have to be able to hold my own! It's the whole point of the past month's training. I have to be able to kill titans on my own.

"I can't…" Levi already has his signature glare on, and I wasn't even finished.

"Y/N…" But it's my turn to cut him off.

"I know what you're trying to do, Levi. You don't need to look after me. I can take care of myself."

"You look like you're ready to croak." We stayed silent, almost forgetting the people around us… and the Titans. "I'm serious, Y/N. It's like you have a death wish! Working yourself to death back at the HQ makes me nervous about what you'd do today."

That hit a nerve. I steered my horse away and was making good distance, not before I heard Levi yell something to me though. "Don't do anything reckless!"

My squad traveled quite far while I was away. I haven't caught up with them in minutes. But that's okay. It's okay. I can do this. I mean, it's bad to travel alone here in the titan's territory but what else can I do?

However, the telltale shake of the Earth happened. Titans! "No way! Hiya!" There's no time to dilly dally! I need to catch up to my squad! The blasted titans were making good time.

"Ah! Help! You there!" Huh? Someone on a horse was riding ahead of the Titans? I've been on so many expeditions to know that he's not gonna make it to me. A titan will be able to grab him way before he reached even thirty feet near me. As for me, I think I'd fare better if I go back to Levi's squad.

"Ahhhhhh!" As I said, that soldier was grabbed by the thirteen-meter class titan behind him. "Help me!" Tsk! The closest titans to us are the one holding him and two small ones – probably around five and seven meters. Oh, what the hell. "Hiya!" I steered my horse towards the titan – deciding to help out my fellow soldier.

"Okay, just like we practiced." I tried to stand on my horse, getting my 3DM gear ready. Being in an open field really isn't ideal. Okay, I can't stand up straight on my horse at the speed that we're going. Still, I fired my gear and went for the titan. I didn't even get passed its waist!

"Hurry – ack!"

"I won't be able to go straight for its nape, so I went for the ankle instead. "Ha!" I was able to sever one, making it stumble. "Come on, get up!" I think the guy's name is Ivan or something, doesn't matter. He said something, but my focus is on the titan who's now very angry at me. It was on its knees. Good. Without much of a running start, I still tried to go for the nape – which is a really bad idea. I felt its handhold on to me in a single breath. Damn, it's fast! What to do? "Ahhhh." Oh yeah, I'm not alone. "A little help here?" I asked before turning to look at Victor something. I don't really know his name.

He didn't answer. He was too busy running up to my horse! That bastard! I wiggled, trying to free myself from the titan's hand. Yeah, it didn't work. Not a hundred percent, but I was able to free my left arm. Grabbing a flare, I fired it right on the titan's face!

Being dropped didn't feel good. Ugh. I need to make a move while it's distracted, which would be difficult since my 3DM gear started malfunctioning. Clearly being squeezed by a titan is not good for both of us.

Think! I can still use my blades; I just can't fire my wires. I have to move fast! The Titan is now on its knees and is still rubbing its eyes. I moved and climbed up its leg, making my way to its shoulders. I can't believe how easy this part is! The neck slicing part was a bit difficult, though. But I did it.

Then another heavy thump rang around. The other two titans are really close and are already steaming. "What?"

"I knew you'd do something stupid."

"Levi!" Relief and anger bubbled in my chest. Relief that I am still alive mostly because of him. Angry because I am still alive because of him. "I had it handled!"

"You have no horse and you're alone. And it looks like your gear isn't working too." Levi is definitely mad now. His eyes are burning and I almost wavered. Almost.

"But I was able to kill that titan. And I wasn't alone. I saved Alec... or Victor. I don't know his name. But I saved someone, I'm not the only one that needs saving!"

"And I still have to save you! I thought…" A deep sigh escaped Levi and for a moment his eyes softened. He looked more broken than angry. Then it was gone and he was cold. "I thought I told you not to do something stupid, as reckless as this?"

"Why don't you trust me? I can take care of myself. Levi, I'm a Survey Corps soldier too!" I couldn't stop the tears, and I know just how much it doesn't help my argument.

"I do trust you! I just… I don't want to lose you Y/N." That gave me pause. "Has it never occurred to you that I'm doing this more for my sake? I need you to stay safe… for me. But if you insist on dragging yourself to every dangerous situation, I don't think I can do this anymore."

"What? What are you talking about Levi? You can't mean that." I reached out for his hand, he let me touch him but he's not responding. He's just… he looks like he's given up. More thundering thumps of titans can be felt on the ground, and the unmistakable screams of titans are sounding closer and closer.

"Eld!" I didn't notice the rest of Levi's squad was a few feet from us.

"Captain?" Eld saluted, coming to us at once.

"Give Y/N a horse." Eld moved right away. "We'll talk later, that is if you stop trying to die."

As we make our way to my squad, my mind kept wandering to my conversation with Levi. Guilt sat heavily on my chest. Maybe, I should heed to his ultimatum after all.


	17. The Game [Jean Kirschtein]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Jean are rivals. Everyone knows that you hate each other’s guts. After humiliating Jean in front of everyone, he figured out a way to make you freeze in your spot. But hey, you’re a quick learner and was soon beating Jean in his own game. Problem is you both enjoy it a little too much.

It was another boring day. Instructor Shadis left us to our own devices – as if we’ll take hand-on-hand combat training seriously without him. As expected, Sasha and Connie is goofing around, so does many others. I know this isn’t really graded, but I’m in the mood to kick some ass… and that ass just put a spotlight on himself.

Jean was going on about how he’s the best at the maneuver gear, lecturing anyone who would listen to his horse face. As if he could still fool us. People already saw how much better Mikasa was at everything than anyone. And not to brag, but I’m not too bad myself. Could wipe the floor with Jean’s smug face.

“Bold of you to claim you’re the best when Mikasa’s right over there and I’m standing right here.” I displayed my smuggest grin and waited for him to react. I pretty much know now how prideful and egotistical this boy could be.

“Ha? Why don’t you come and say that to my face?” Jean challenged, to my delight. He really bit onto that, didn’t he? It’s clear he’s annoyed with how red his face has gotten. I’d never say this out loud, but I do enjoy seeing him like this.

“Fine.” Was all I needed to say to begin our showdown. The people around us began to cheer for either Jean or me. Yeah, apparently there are people who do believe in his talents.

Jean has a habit of keeping his left open, all I have to do is to take advantage of it. Throwing a feint and his left side was open! “Gotcha! Hyaa!” A kick to the side of his head and he’s on the floor!

“Wow! Y/N kicked you ass that fast?!” Connie loudly mocked Jean, who’s now holding his head and writhing on the ground, cursing me.

“How does defeat taste like? Salty like your tears?” I quipped, earning another round of cheers. Damn, this feels good! “I’ll get you back for this!” Was all Jean said before I left him in the dust.

\----

“Ugh, how much longer before we get to rest?” I can’t help but whine. Carrying a huge rucksack and being bundled in thick clothing is uncomfortable enough already, but we also have to hike in the middle of a fucking blizzard! These aren’t training but torture!

“You’re always so dramatic. I guess that’s how weak people’s brain works.” And it’s just my luck to be in the same team as Jean Kirschtein. It’s been weeks since we fought – well, more like I wiped the floor with him – and he hasn’t stopped goading me like this. It’s honestly more tiring than annoying. Still, the frustration of our current situation can’t help but manifest in me wanting to strangle the life out of him.

“Come here and I’ll show you what a weak person’s brain looks like.” I said, clearly implying that I’d bash his head, but he got me. “Oh, so now you want to show me your brain?” He was smiling so much you’d think the blizzard froze his face. I went in for a punch, but Reiner caught my hand in the air. Right, he’s here.

“Stop it, you two!” His huge fist was wrapped around mine, its warmth permeating through our thick gloves. Wow. We’re in the middle of a fucking tundra, wearing thick gloves and Reiner’s hand is still very warm… like super warm it’d probably steam! “Jean, stop being rude to Y/N!” Reiner continued, totally taking not only Jean but also me, by surprise. He’s taking my side! “Y/N, if he tries bothering you, he’d have to face me. No need to hurt your fist with his face. Here, I’ll help you with your load.”

“What?” Was all I could utter as Reiner carried both his and my rucksacks. I think I’m rooted – no! Frozen to the ground. “What just happened?” I asked again. Despite the blizzard, I heard a whistle coming from Jean. “Would you look at that? Reiner actually left you speechless! If I only knew that… oh!” Jean started to laugh like a madman. I don’t like the sound of that.

“What? If you only knew what?” This past few minutes, all I’ve been saying was what and I am so tired of it! I need answers, damn it! To my surprise, Jean leaned in his horse-face close to mine. Real close that I noticed his lashes are quite long – ah! What am I doing ogling his eyes!

“Nothing to concern your pretty head with, sweetheart!” Chills went through my body. And it’s not from the raging blizzard around us. Jean gave me a wink before facing straight ahead.

\---

We are stuck in the cabins. It isn’t really a surprise seeing that the weather only got worse. So was Jean’s… whatever the fuck he’s doing. After that little bit outside, Jean tried, again and again, to enter my personal space, winking shamelessly you’d think he has something in his eyes. As much as it pains me to say, this makes me flustered and I can’t think of anything to say or do. Good thing I’m not bunkmates with Ymir or I’d never hear the end of this… being powerless to Jean’s… Charms?

And it’s just my luck that Jean is standing in front of our doorway, a shit-eating grin on his face. “What do want?” I asked, annoyance very evident on my voice, my face and maybe even my posture. He didn’t take the bait. He was still all smiles while I’m the one getting angrier by the minute.

To my surprise, Jean pushed me to the wall, arms barricading me in. “H..hey!” His face closed in on mine again, so close I could feel his warm breath. “Had I known I have this effect on you, I would have done this all the time. Seeing you flustered like this?” I can’t believe it was even possible, but Jean somehow got even closer and my eyes closed on their own. My heart pounding so loud it’s almost all I could hear until a soft and gentle chuckle right by my ear. And just like that, Jean was already walking away when I opened my eyes.

After trying to catch my breath, I entered my bedroom to see Krista already in her sleepwear. “Oh, Y/n! Your face is so red, are you alright?” She rushed from the bed to where I’m rooted in my spot in front of the door. Her blue eyes peered at me curiously and full of concern. I shook my head and muttered a weak “nothing.” Before changing to my sleepwear.

I was already lying on the top bunk when there was a sudden knocking to our door. I heard Krista walk over and open it, then heard Ymir’s loud voice. Ugh, could this day get any worse?

“Ah! Krista! Why don’t you switch with Annie? I’d love to share a room with you!”

“Shhh! Y/N is probably already sleeping. And no, we can’t just do that! You really need to get along better with people other than me.” Ymir was not convinced and tried to persuade Krista more and louder. “Hey! Will you at least quiet down? I’m trying to sleep here.” Ymir turned her attention to me, and with a cunning glint in her eye, she stepped closer. She’s so tall it’s easy for her to keep eye contact with me this close even though I’m lying on the top bunk.

“Why Y/N! Jean was laying it on thickly earlier, huh? I knew that idiot liked you! And you seem to like him, too!” Color me surprised. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said, sitting up… or lied. I kind of know what she’s talking about. “Oh? You were a blushing mess! First time I ever saw you tongue-tied in Jean’s presence; you know! Maybe all those times you kicked his ass before he should have just kissed you and you might have dropped on the floor!”

Krista was scolding Ymir for teasing me like this, but I think I just realized something. She’s right, I might have dropped to the floor – not because I like Jean or something! But when Reiner held my hand and I froze, Jean must’ve thought he could do that to shut me up! Ooooohhh… I know what to do now!

\---

It’s early in the morning and the weather is better than yesterday. A lot better it might be sunny later. I have kitchen duty today, and thankfully there’s maybe only fifteen of us here. That means less cutting and peeling. That also means less help, apparently. Jean was already in the kitchen when I got there, and it would be just the two of us. Great.

He’s already started on the broth and is peeling potatoes. At my arrival, he had this brilliant smile. It gave me pause. I’d never say this out loud, especially to Jean’s face, but he does have a beautiful smile. “Good morning Y/N.” Jean made a show of slowly setting down the knife and potato he’s holding, giving me his full attention. “So, how do you like eggs in the morning?” His wink was infuriatingly attractive, pretty much like the rest of him when he’s confident.

Wait – I can’t let him affect me so much I’d stop functioning! I decided last night to give Jean a taste of his own medicine. Taking deep breaths to calm down, I decided to start with my plan now. “I’m not really into eggs. More of a sausage person, really. Long and thick ones.” Okay, that was very dirty. Definitely, something I’d never say to anyone for real. Oh, my goodness. I was met only with silence, though. Turns out Jean turned the brightest shade of red I’ve ever seen him, and his mouth was quivering – like he can’t decide what to say or if he could actually say something.

Success! This gave me the courage to do more… damage. Biting my lip, I walked closer to Jean, tiptoed and whispered to his ear, “I know the game you’re playing, Jean. Very bad of you to try and beat me this way. But…” I paused for effect, putting a hand to his chest and goodness! His heart is thumping wildly! This is fun! “I like bad boys.” And I gave him a wink. Might I say, seeing him speechless like that is very satisfying.

\---

Cooking breakfast with Jean was surprisingly not awkward. Maybe it was the high of being successful at making him flustered. I don’t really care. But he was quiet through it all, and once the redness was only on his ears, he looked like he was deep in thought. And I have an inkling it won’t be good. By lunchtime I know it wasn’t good.

The moment I entered the dining hall with Krista and Ymir, Jean and I locked eyes. I was right, his confidence was back, and a rather smoldering smile was on his face. Since this is a small dining hall, we are seated across from each other. Phew, I guess it’ll be a showdown then. And then he began.

“Y/N, I’m afraid I have to ask you to leave.” Jean said, mirth playing on his eyes and lips. “Oh?” I inquired, raising a brow to him. My, I really am better at taking his flirtations head-on now that we’re on the same page. “You're making the other girls look bad.” He said, throwing yet another one of his winks. I can’t help and smile at that. That was good. Real good.

“Whoa! You’re saying that to Y/N when Krista is right beside her? Love makes you blind, huh?” Connie asked. Love? Wait! He just insulted me! “Hey! What are you insinuating, you bald midget!” Yes, I have a temper. “I’m not bald – “ Connie was about to say something more but Jean cut him off. “Yeah, what are you saying?”

“Ha, the lovebirds are teaming up against Connie.” I heard one of our fellow trainees say. Lovebirds?

“Alright! I’m sorry!” Connie surrendered. The rest of the meal went back to what normally happens – just idle chatter. But Jean and I won’t stop throwing exceptionally flowery words towards each other, making those sitting around us amused and uncomfortable.

* * *

Weeks passed and our game continued. Even during training where I missed a titan dummy’s neck because Jean said something about me calling him daddy. He just took it to a new level, his effect becoming… intense.

I have to think of a way to get back at him. Sitting by the pond at the back of our barracks should help me focus better. But Jean kept popping up in my head! I know I’m doing this to get back at him, make him lose points at training… but the way he’d smile at me or how he’d light up when I walk in the room makes me feel things. Which is dumb because, for him, this is all about pushing me out of the top ten! That thought makes me sad, actually. Ahhh!

“Thought I’d find you here.”

“Jean?” He smiled, and maybe it’s the stupid part of me but it looks so beautiful and genuine.

“You always run out here. And it’s pretty boring inside without you.” Jean confessed. Is that redness creeping up his neck? Am I hearing what I want to hear? Silence enveloped us. I don’t really know what to say. I can’t remember a time where Jean and I weren’t fighting. Oh, our first week. We used to talk here during our breaks. Then somehow, we became rivals.

“Y/N, you’re awfully quiet.” Jean asked, leaning in closer. And like instinct, my head decided to play with him. Dipping my hand in the pond, I flick a tiny bit of water at him. The confusion evident on his face, and I just say "Well, now that we're both wet..." Now what? I didn’t think of what would happen next. But Jean did. For half a second his eyes were very intense then he took hold of my face. His touch was like fire and lighting all at once and against everything in me, my eyelids fluttered closed.

I felt his breath on my lips shortly before I felt his. His lips on mine. Jean is kissing me! My hands traveled to his head, threading through his hair. I can’t help but melt into the kiss. But then it was over.

Jean had this wild look – like something really good happened to him. I can hear my heart’s pounding in my head – which is impossible, right?

“Wow.” Was all he said. “Let’s do that again.” I can’t help but agree. “Yeah.” I said back.


	18. Farlan's Promise [Farlan Church]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were just gangsters from the crime-ridden Underground. And you had the misfortune of being assigned as their horse instructor. Instead of you teaching them how to ride, it was you who learned something - that people are always not as they seem.

They were gangsters from the underground. What was Squad Leader Erwin thinking? Apparently, they were smart and was able to procure 3DM gears and use them masterfully. Even better than some Military Police, as some people say – which I honestly doubt. It took us three years of training to be able to use the gears effectively!

“Y/N! Ready the horses. The new recruits will be starting on that today.”

“Yes, sir!” It was Erwin Smith. Of course, it’s just my luck to get assigned to help those gangsters get used to riding horses. Obviously, there weren’t any horses down where they came from.

I stood waiting with four horses. Yes, just four. I can’t believe I’ll be handling this on my own! Is Commander Keith angry at me? Is this punishment for something?

“neighhhh!”

“What?!” The neigh of a horse pulled me from my thoughts so rudely. A redheaded girl was on a horse!

“Hey!” She just ignored me and went on laughing while the horse was trotting.

“Oh, don’t mind Isabell. She’s just excited to be on a horse.” A blond guy walked over to me, explaining things in a way as if he’d known me forever.

“Who are you?”

“Farlan Church.” He said, gesturing to shake my hand before continuing, “that one on the horse is Isabell, this guy here is Levi. We were introduced this morning? New recruits.”

Of course. Heat traveled my cheeks. What a first impression, I’ve made a total fool of myself. They were up front this morning. But I have an excuse! I was at the very back, you see… totally not paying attention. Oh god, is that why I’m here?

“Hello?” Farlan seemed to think I was a little too lost in my head and went on to wave his hand right in front of my face. Gulping, as if I could gulf down my embarrassment and restore some pride, I snapped out of it and stood a little straighter.

“I’m Y/N. I’ll be helping you with your horses today.” I turned around to look at that Isabell girl, and she was already prancing around the field. First time, huh? “She seems to be doing well enough.”

“Yes. Isabell has always been better handling animals, right Levi?” Farlan replied, suddenly wrapping an arm on Levi’s shoulder – which annoyed the shorter man.

“Tsk. This is a waste of time.” Levi’s tone is akin to a sharp knife.

“This is important, Levi. Out of these walls, having a horse could be the difference between life and death. We have nowhere to run to out there.” I’m surprised I was still able to keep my mood in check.

“Yes, Levi. Listen to Y/N.” Farlan took my side, eh? “So, where do we start?”

That was tiring. Isabell turned out to be a natural equestrian. It’s almost unbelievable it was her first time on a horse. Another surprising thing about her? She’s not what I expected of a gangster. I honestly enjoyed being around her. Pretty much the opposite with Levi. He would throw in an insult every now and then, which will be instantly shut down by Farlan. Then Levi decided to keep his mouth shut, but the way he looks at me was equally as hurtful as his words.

Farlan, on the other hand, was amazing – for lack of better word. He was kind, and such a gentleman. We ended up riding around at a slow pace, talking about our lives. It was like I’ve known him forever. That would have been a nice end to my day, however, I still have work to do. The Commander just asked me to deliver some files to Squad Leader Erwin.

It was quiet around the offices, as most of the people are either having dinner or are still running around the field or doing simulations in the training area. Erwin, being the dedicated and hardworking person that he is, is still in his office.

“Come in.” Came his voice at my knock.

“Sir, the commander asked me to give you this.” His office was huge! And neat, might I add.

“Thank you.” Erwin said, attention already back on what he was doing. I saluted before leaving but I doubt that he even saw it. Now that that’s done, my day is officially over – “Ah! Owww.”

“I’m sorry!”

Yeah, I’d bump into someone face first as I turn the corner. “Farlan?” As it happens, it was him again.

“Y/N, are you alright?” He helped to my feet, grabbing my hand in the process… oh. His warm hands.

“Yes,” I answered, sounding very breathless. “I wasn’t looking, I’m sorry.”

“No, no. It’s my fault. Are you sure you’re alright? Nothing hurts?” He asked, concern evident on both his face and voice. Huh, it feels nice to have someone care for you. Not that I think he cares! No, he’s just… guilty, right? That he bumped into me.

“Of course. I’m a big girl.” I said… oh my god. What kind of answer is that?

“Oh. Haha, of course, you are.” Farlan chuckled before letting go of my hand. He was smiling – maybe at the thought of my foolishness.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, desperate to change the subject. “These are the office wing.” At that, it suddenly occurred to me how strange it is to bump into him here. I don’t frequent this area and I’ve been in the Survey Corps for almost two years. The reason being that file and rank soldiers aren’t really allowed here, except when they have business with an officer as I did.

“Just taking a walk.”

“Huh, but we’re… I mean, you’re not really allowed here?” Now he’d think I’m rude. I’m sure of it!

“I know. I’m a bad boy.” He said, with a wink.

Do you know what a blushing mess is? It’s me at this very moment. Farlan laughed at the blushing mess.

“Are you just about to head to eat?”

“Ah, no. I’ll just be walking around some. Before going to bed.”

“Great! I’ll walk with you.”

That’s how I ended up walking with Farlan, right at the field where we rode horses this morning. I really do enjoy being with him. He has a lot of interesting things to say.

“And Levi just sliced up his hand in a flick!” He said, eyes glinting with energy, voice buzzing with excitement.

“All that just because he tried to touch Levi?”

“Yep. With a dirty hand.”

“Wow.” I was stunned. From now on, I won’t be rude to Levi.

“How about you Y/N, how did you end up here?” He asked, all curious now and looking at me as if what I was about to say is very important.

“Well… It’s really constricting inside the walls, don’t you think? Everything’s the same. I wanted to see if there could be something more.” I answered honestly.

“I think I understand.” He then smiled at me, and it was the most beautiful smile I’ve seen. We kept walking and talking under the moonlight, and somehow, our hands ended up clasp together. We reached the barracks and everything was silent – aside from the occasional chirping buds and the rustling of the leaves.

“That was fun.” He said, suddenly looking at our hands.

“Yes. I’m glad I got to know you better.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He said, as he closed the gap between us and kissed me on my forehead. A kiss! I was stunned and my heart felt like it jumped to my throat. Excitement rushed throughout my body and I am just very happy.

“Goodnight.” Was all I could say, though, before entering the building and making my way to my room. The smile on my face never left.

It was like that the following days. Sometimes we’ll lay on the grass, at the clearing in the woods near the barracks. Other times, we’ll be at the rooftop gazing at the moon and stars. There were also days where we’d sneak out to the lake near HQ and just sit and talk. And just like that, Farlan became the most important person in my life. Which is why I am dreading tomorrow.

“Hey, you haven’t been smiling. Don’t tell me you already tire of my company?” Farlan asked, poking my cheek in his playfully adorable manner.

“No, it’s not that. It’s just…” a heavy sigh escaped and I couldn’t get my next words out.

“What is it?” He whispered, warm hands resting on my cheeks.

“It’s tomorrow. The expedition.”

Knots formed on Farlan’s forehead. We haven’t talked about it. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath before opening them again. The fire of resolve was very evident, eyes of someone very determined.

“Nothing bad is going to happen. We’ll live through it, get back here safely.” He said, hold on my face a little firmer, the resolve on his eyes ever stronger.

“I’m scared.” I confessed. I’ve seen the Titans. I know what we’ll be facing. Before meeting Farlan, my fear was just for myself. For my friends too, yes. But it wasn’t like this. The prospect of losing Farlan is just unthinkable.

“I’ll be right beside you the whole way. I promise.”

I believed him. I know he’d do as he says. If Farlan said we’ll be okay, we will be. I nodded, weakly. A second or two passed before Farlan took the leap and kissed me. It was everything I could ever want. Gentle but strong, it made me happy and ache. It lasted forever but was over in a second. That was the moment I was sure that I love him.

“Y/N, it will be okay. I love you, I won’t let anything happen to you… I would... I would die for you.”

My grip on him got tighter. “Don’t. Don’t you dare die for me. Live! Live with me, please.”

He nodded, sincerely. “I promise. We’ll survive this.” Then he kissed me. Again, then again, and again.

.

.

.

.

.

But… he broke his promise.


	19. It Starts with the Name [Erwin Smith]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pining after someone was never a good situation - especially if that someone is your boss. Cadet is crushing heavily on commander handsome.

Jean was unusually quiet. I shouldn’t be surprised, really. After what happened to Trost - to Marco - he’s actually holding up better than most of us.

“I’m joining the Survey Corps!” Jean suddenly declared. Sasha and the others reacted to that. Who wouldn’t? Jean is probably the last person you’d think would join the Survey Corps. It’s what he and Eren fight about constantly. He’s not alone in that change of heart, though.

“Get in line!” The officials began calling. It’s time to decide which branch of the Army we’ll join.

The first presenter was Commander Erwin Smith of the Survey Corps.

“Wow.” I couldn’t help myself but be amazed, earning a glare from Ymir. I’ve heard rumors, but Erwin Smith really is as dashing as they say! Striking blue eyes, thick blond hair, regal posture, and strong eyebrows… one wouldn’t think he was a soldier let alone the commander!

His speech went over my head, as I found myself focusing more on his face… arms… chest… when people suddenly began walking away.

“What’s happening?” I asked no one in particular. Turning around, I saw Sasha and Connie looking very pale, Krista by my side looked like she’s about to cry. Oh. This must be it, deciding whether we become Survey Corps soldiers?

It didn’t take long before only a handful of us was left. Out of our whole class, barely twenty stayed. Am I really going to join this death-filled army branch just because I’m smitten with the Commander?

Commander Erwin broke the tense silence, “Can you die if ordered to?”

* * *

“Three years of training wasn’t enough?!” I complained loudly as my friends and I walked to the mess hall.

“But it’s only natural, Y/N! We weren’t taught the Survey Corps strategy while we were trainees.” Armin said.

“And we have to protect Eren this time.” Mikasa added. As usual, all she ever thought about is Eren.

“I know. It’s just annoying, is all.” I felt a little embarrassed for whining like a child. They were right. Being part of the Survey Corps is entirely different from being trainees, and we’re only one week into it.

“Eren is already a part of Captain Levi’s Squad. An elite squad.” Mumbled Jean, bitterly. “I wonder which squad we’ll be in?”

A tingle of excitement began in my chest. I’ve been looking forward to our squad assignments. I hope to get into Commander Erwin’s elite squad. I know only the best of the best gets to follow his direct orders – like right from his mouth – yet I can’t help but dream.

“I hope I’ll be in Eren’s squad.” Said Jean… I jest. Of course, Mikasa wished that. I guess it’s possible of her to join – she’s amazing when it comes to dispatching Titans.

“Good luck with that. What about you, Y/N?” Jean asked me, slapping me on the back.

“Uh, well… I’d like to work directly under the Commander.”

“Ha? We’re all working directly under the Commander.” As expected, Jean was an idiot. I wanted to tell him exactly what I meant, but just the mere thought of it is making heat climb up from my neck up to my ears.

“It’s pretty obvious what Y/N meant, horse face!” Announced Ymir as she caught up to step with me, nudging me with her elbow. Tsk, her seeing and hearing me being amazed by Erwin’s mere appearance totally came back to haunt me. Not a day goes by without her hinting at that.

Krista – bless her soul – tried to stop Ymir, which only egged on the other idiots into asking me.

“He is the Commander. We all do work under him.” Connie said, scratching his head and looking so much like an egg.

“I don’t think that’s what she meant.” Sasha took the reign of conversation, making me think that would signal the end of this. I was wrong. Sasha was worse than Ymir. “Y/N probably meant she wants to work with Commander Erwin. In his office. Bring him tea, pile his papers, or wake him up in the morning.”

“Wake him up? Exactly what made you think that?” I can’t believe it! Why would Sasha say that?

“It’s because I see the way you look at hi – Ah! What?!” Sasha was about to go on when Connie nudged her.

“Shhh! Commander Smith is right there!” Connie pointed directly in front of us. Maybe ten steps – fifteen? – in front of us. And as luck would have it, we were making such a huge fuss Erwin turned to look at us. My mouth was suddenly very dry.

“Ah, new recruits. I hope you’re all finding your accommodations suited to your needs.” He said… he’s talking to us! Face to face!

“Yes, sir!” Armin, Sasha, Krista, and Connie were the first to answer.

“Good to know.” Erwin said, scanning our faces. Then his eyes landed on me. On. My. Face.! He smiled! He smiled while looking at me! Then walked, straight and seemingly on a mission!

“Excuse me. Hange!” he walked right past me. He wasn’t looking at me.

“Don’t look so downtrodden. You looked like a puppy that’s been kicked.” Ymir in what I suspect her try at being encouraging.

“I know.” Is all that I could say.

Things like this kept happening in the next few days. I would see the Commander around HQ, greet him and he would greet back with this far-off look in his eyes – as if his very spirit and mind is already out of the walls and fighting Titans!

I can’t get him to notice me, and I’ve heard him call Armin and Mikasa by their names! This actually pushed me to do better in our extended training – just so he’d notice me. In a blink, it was already time for us to receive our squad assignments.

“Hange’s Squad?” No. It just can’t happen! Needless to say, disappointment flooded me up until the expedition. I know, I should be dedicated to our cause. Just, let me grieve a little. I feel so close, yet so far.

* * *

Our first expedition and everything seemed to have gone wrong. We were dashing through the Forest of Giant Trees, before reaching a point where the Commander was waiting with his elites. Hange commanded our squad to stop and set up the contents of our wagons. Canons? Exactly what are we doing here?

“Y/N!” Squad Leader Hange approached me the moment we finished setting up. “Tell Erwin we’re done with setting up. And stay and help him with giving the signal.” Somehow, Hange’s eyes had this dangerous glint to them, and I don’t think that was meant for the Titans we are sure to encounter.

“Commander! Set up is finished. We’ll just be waiting for the signal.” I reported, complete with a salute. He just nodded at me. But I won’t give up. I took the signals set aside and waited. For what? For the most dangerous Titan, maybe, ever.

“What is that thing?” I can hear it, the heavy footsteps that could only belong to a Titan. I can feel it, coming closer every second. A high-pitched ring came out of nowhere, then Captain Levi’s squad, then the Titan!

“Now!” Erwin commanded, and I flashed the signal. Blasts of the canons went off continuously, latching onto the Titan.

“We’re trying to catch it?” I whispered, yet somehow, Commander Erwin heard it.

“Yes.” He answered me. He actually talked to me! It’s one word, still… it’s something. My celebration didn’t last long. The sight of this Titan actually pulled my attention from Erwin.

There’s something different about it. It wasn’t trying to escape. It seemed to be watching us, observing. A shiver went up to my spine.

“Looks like it stopped moving.” Captain Levi was right beside the Commander all of a sudden. His blades were drawn and I could tell he wanted to carve up this Titan right away. This close, I could feel just how lethal our legendary Captain Levi is.

A few more shots were fired, Commander Erwin is understandably pissed. And when Mike and Levi went in for the nape, the hands covering it turned into some kind of crystal in an instant!

“Impossible!” No one told us about this! Squad Leader Mike zipped up to where we were and his blades were ruined, in just a single strike.

“Y/N.” Erwin called me by my name! He knows my name! I have no time to celebrate, but I really, really want everyone to know that Erwin knows my name.

“Yes, sir?”

“Prepare the explosives. Blow off its hands.”

“Yes, sir.” But then, will that be enough to destroy the hardened skin? Or will we have to use a lot of our supply? We carried wagons! This is clearly a Titan like Eren. Blowing it up like that might kill whoever’s inside. I shred this worried with Erwin.

“Then set them to amputate the wrists.” He then started walking, closer to me. Leaning! And with a hand on my shoulder, he continued, “set them all off at my signal.” I was giddy. I know that’s not right, but I can’t help it. He knows my name!

I zipped down to Squad Leader Hange, ready to relay the command. It was when sputtering noise came from my 3DM gear. Ugh! I did what I came to do, and started whacking my gear. I really should’ve stayed with Armin and Marco whenever they did their gear maintenance.

I was halfway back up when I heard the loudest and most horrible scream that there could possibly be.

Landing ungracefully, I turned to the Commander, “what was that?”

Squad Leader Mike suddenly landed, “Erwin it stinks!” Oh no.

I was paralyzed. I could feel the rumble way before I heard them. Hordes of Titans! It was a blur, but I know I saw one of the firsts Titans to clutch onto our captured one and bit onto its leg.

“A Titan, eating a Titan?” It was all happening so fast! More Titans were in our vicinity.

“All men, engage!” Commanded Erwin. “Defend the Female Titan even if it means your lives!”

“Yes!” I was ready to put my skills to use, but as luck would have it, my 3DM gear’s cord was stuck! I fell maybe three feet, Titans running all around, soldiers zipping up above. I’m going to die like this? Stepped on by Titans – not even on purpose?

“Come on, you hunk of metal!” Useless! Before I could try anything else, I was grabbed by a strong arm – human arm!

“Are you alright, Y/N?” It was Erwin! And he still knows my name! “Y/N?”

“Ye..yes.” Despite the joy I’m feeling, coldness was running through my veins, and my legs seem to be melting. “Thank you.”

It was a whirlwind of Titan parts after that.

With my useless gear, Commander Erwin helped me down and towards the horses. I was able to ride alongside him and Hange. We didn’t have time to do anything else as the mission was a failure. We rode our horses until we were far away from the Forest of Giant Trees.

* * *

We were able to catch a break, in a strategically disadvantageous clear field. Sorting out the dead and the injured. I felt selfish as all I was doing was fix my gear – or at least try to.

“Here, let me.” Out of nowhere, Commander Erwin approached. “Your cords are tangled, and they need some oil.”

“Okay.” I was able to observe him, how his usually stern face was gentle, tired but gentle. His hands delicately handling the gear. He was breathtaking.

“Here. That should do it. You really have to do regular maintenance on your gear, Y/N.” He smiled. At me! “Why the look of surprise?” And now he chuckled.

“I, uh, didn’t know you knew my name, sir.”

“Of course, I’d know your name.” Erwin said, kindness overflowing his voice. “It’s natural I’d know the name of the most hardworking person I know. You never fail to amaze me.”

All this time, I thought he didn’t notice me. Wow. My heart felt so warm and so full it could probably burst. I know that right now, we are weighed down by the mission we just lived through, and this moment was tinged by the sadness of losing our colleagues. But I have faith that this is just the beginning, and things will definitely get better.


	20. Truth or Dare [Erwin Smith]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two bottles of wine and a handful of Survey Corps veterans, what could possibly go wrong?  
> [Mike x Nanaba]  
> \----  
> This is actually a chapter from my work "Thank Goodness for Crazy", please check it out. I really enjoyed writing this and rereading it. I thought it'd make a good stand-alone, so I'm putting this on here. kudos and thoughts? :)

_Thump…. Thump!_

The knock on my door gave me a much-needed distraction. I didn’t even wonder why anyone would knock at this time of the night.

“(Y/N)!” Hange said raising her right hand.

“Whoa there!” She’s holding up what seems to be a bottle of wine!

“Come with me! Huehuehue. We need to interrogate Nanaba!”

“Oh my gosh, yes please!” I need this very much! We ran off to fetch Nanaba from the barracks – see, she isn’t an officer. Her bedroom is thankfully on the first floor. We found her window quickly and proceeded to call her.

” _NaaaahnaaaahbaaaahI!”_ Hange said as if she’s a ghost with unfinished business.

“Hange, don’t tell me you’re already drunk?” In my rush, I didn’t notice that Hange seems to be… weirder than usual.

“Huh… A little.” She smiled, before continuing calling Nanaba is that creepy way of hers.

After a few minutes, someone came up to the window.

“Hmmm… wh…what is it?”

“Nanaba! Come on, let’s go to my room!” I whispered. We really can’t drink and chat here, now can we?

“Why? I was sleeping.” Nanaba complained. Yet she’s putting her coat on.

“ _Weeeee goot wiiiine!”_ Hange said before letting go of giggles. Gosh, I wonder how many bottles she’d had before this?

* * *

Once Nanaba joined us, we quickly went back to my room. Setting out a cup each and some dried fruit for a snack, our bonding time began.

“So!” Hange began. “I gathered you here * _hicc!_ * today… to talk about Nanaba blossoming into a woman!” Hange managed in between hiccups.

“You woke me up for this?” Nanaba complained before downing her first cup. One thing you must know about wines here is that they’re strong.

“It’s not like it’s that late.” I said, and it’s true. Probably around ten pm. But since this is the boondocks, almost everything shuts down after six.

“Fine.” Nanaba was red. I don’t know if it’s the wine or just her thinking about what we’re going to talk about.

After a sip, I began our questioning. Well, I tried. “Mike an – “

“You and Miiiiikkkke!” Hange said, totally cutting me off! “How long?”

“Okay, straight to the point. I doubt you’ll remember this but yes. Mike and I are… together.”

I squealed! I literally squealed in delight! “Since when? Congratulations!” I managed, despite the building effect of alcohol in my system.

“Thanks, (Y/N). Just, a week. We’re still testing the waters.”

“But whyyyyy? You two are perfect for each otherrrr!” Hange complained, and honestly, for a drunk person, she’s making a lot of sense.

“We’re soldiers.” Nanaba said, a bitter smile on her lips.

“Of course.”

Needless to say, we finished that bottle of wine. We talked a lot about Mike and Nanaba, and about titans (surprise) and life in general.

“Aggghh! It’s… all gone!” Hange was holding the bottle upside down.

“Can’t * _hicc_ * believe we finished that!” Now I also have hiccups. Then, even in this alcohol muddled mind, a brilliant idea came to my mind.

“Let’s play truth or dare! But it’ll be boring with just the three of us. Let’s get the boys.”

“Who? And what kind of game is that?” Nanaba said, as she lies on her side on the floor.

“I’ll go get Erwin.” I said before leaving.

“Erwin!” I knocked on his door but he’s not answering. He must be in his office! I went to get him and I was not disappointed. He is still there, maps and paper spread on his desk.

“ (Y/N)? What are you still doing up?”

“Hi.” I said, before coming in and sitting on his table.

“ (Y/N)… are you drunk?” Erwin asked, setting his things aside before concentrating on me.

At that, I sat as straight as I could. “A little. I only had a cup and a half. Are you done with work?”

Erwin’s eyes are still narrow, and I know he does not believe me, but he indulged me. “For today, yes.” He stood up, then reached out to me. “Come, let me walk you to your room.”

“That’s exactly what I want you to do!” I confessed, and I don’t know why but Erwin’s face is red… is he drunk, too? He was leaning a little, ready to assist me to stand, and that’s just the perfect place for him to be at. I leaned in closer to his mouth.

“ (Y/N)!”

And sniffed. Hmm… alcohol? No. I’m the one who reeks of wine. “then why is your face red?”

“Come now.” Erwin urged me to stand, and surprisingly I could walk straight. We reached my room where a confused Mike sat with an ecstatic Nanaba.

“What’s going on?” Erwin wondered, seeing the plates and cups on the floor – not to mention, the empty bottle.

“Hmm, where’s Hange?” We went inside and sat down. I think Erwin and Mike are talking? Then Hange came back.

“I have another one!”

Us three girls resumed our positions on the floor, while the boys looked on unsure.”

“Oh, come on! Sit! Drink! Eat! We risk our lives all the time, we need all the fun we could have.” I commanded.

I don’t remember how, but we got the two to stay and do just what I told them to. We talked for a bit, snacking and drinking before I officially started the game.

“Truth or dare!” I screeched.

Red-faced, Mike asked, “how do you play that?”

With a very exaggerated move, I waved the bottle we emptied earlier. “I spin this bottle. The person it points to will then have to choose between truth or dare. The spinner will ask the question or give the dare. Then that person will be the next spinner. Oh, and if you choose truth, prepare for a little pain.”

“Oh. That seems fun.” Erwin commented, smiling. Gah! Erwin and fun! What a rare combination.

“But!” I said, pausing for effect, “on every fifth spin, the spinner and the one the bottle points to must kiss! If they don’t kiss in five seconds, then they have to make out for ten seconds!”

“What!?” Nanaba, Erwin, and Mike asked, while Hange feverishly laughed on.

“But what if I spin it and it points at Erwin?” Mike asked.

“Then you choose if you want to just peck him on the lips or full-on make out with him. I’ll start! First turn!”

They still tried to complain, but there’s no turning back now!

The bottle pointed at Nanaba! This is going to be so good!

“Truth or dare?”

With a gulp, Nanaba answered “truth.”

“Okay.” I crept closer to her. “Put your hands like this.” I asked her to interlock her fingers.

“There.” She did as she was told, then I started to press his fingers together near the knuckle.

“Ow! (Y/N)! That hurts!” Nanaba’s drunkenness seemed to have disappeared in the pain. I let go a little, besides this will be slow torture.

“What are you doing?” She asked.

“Making sure you’ll tell the truth.”

“Hehehe… I never thought you could be like this, (Y/N)!” Hange murmured.

“Heh, that makes sense, actually.” Erwin stated.

Nanaba looked to Mike for help, but he shook his head instead. “Let’s play by the rules.”

“Jerk! Agh!”

“Alright, question. Who here would you most like to make out with?”

“What!!!!!! AGGGHH!” I pressed a little, but that could really hurt. The others laughed, even Mike. See, this is amusing. First, turn in and it’s very juicy. “Dare! I switch to dare!”

“Can she do that?” Mike asked. Seems to me he wants to hear Nanaba declare him as her answer so bad that he’s a little upset. But no worries, Mike, I gotchu.

“Yes, but if you switch to dare, there’s no going back.”

“Alright, alright! Just, stop!!!!!”

I let go, and before anything else, Mike earned a punch to the shoulder from Nanaba. Erwin laughed at that. Wow. Erwin’s laughing a lot. Is he drunk? Or does he genuinely find this fun?

“Dare.” Nanaba said, facing me straight on.

“Go and make out for ten seconds with the one here you want to do it with.” The other three dropped down laughing.

“What! But it’s only the first turn! Nanaba complained face flushed red. She looks like she already made out with some poison ivy.

“That’s the dare. Do it or you’ll forever be known as a coward.”

“Fine!” Puffing up her cheeks, Nanaba went on towards Mike as we all expected. Mike smiled at her and they went for it.

“AYIEEEE!” This is the best! We were making so much noise that I am surprised no one’s knocking at my door yet! Erwin was wolf-whistling – whistling! While Hange and I are shaking each other. Ten seconds were up, and despite the circumstances, those two were smiling.

“Next!” Nanaba said, spinning the bottle vigorously. It stopped at…

“Hange!”

“Yesssss, my turn!”

“Truth or dare?” Nanaba asked, positioned to press Hange’s hand together. But she won’t be doing that.

“Dare!” Hange smugly said. She really seems to be confident.

“Okay.” Nanaba seems disappointed she didn’t get to inflict pain on others, but then she perked up at the thought of her dare.

“Go and wake commander Keith and tell him you love him.”

“What?” Where did that come from?

“I knew it.” Erwin said, snapping his finger.

Mike was giggling like a toddler, while Hange was like a fish out of water.

“You can still choose truth, coward.” Nanaba smirked. But without uttering a word, Hange stood up and went out the door. We followed her of course.

“Commander!” Hange was already knocking when we got out. Of course, we’re going to watch. “Commander!”

The door opened and a disheveled Keith appeared in his jammies. “What? Is there an emergency?” He asked, ever the responsible commander.

“I love you.” Hange said before turning and walking back to my room.

“What?” Dumbfounded, Keith’s jaw was left hanging open. He turned to give us a questioning look, but we all just shrugged stifling our laughter

“Okay, third turn!” We went back to our game, with Hange commandeering the bottle. She spins and boom! It landed on…

“ERWIN!”

“Erwin! Erwin! Erwin!” I yelled, excited at what’s happening.

“Truth or dare!” Erwin thought for a second, and maybe he considered how crazy the earlier dares were so he chose, “truth.”

Positioning their hands, Hange and Erwin got ready.

“When was the most inappropriate time you farted?” Erwin was wincing in pain, and red-faced because of either the pain, the wine or the question.

“Hngh…. A meeting with the heads of the military at the capital!” Erwin answered. Satisfied, Hange let go.

“Hahahaha! Right in front of the big cheese?” Mike asked, holding his stomach in laughter. I can’t breathe. Ah! I can’t! Erwin, farting! His ear was red, yet he still tries to maintain a poker face. Without any words, he spun the bottle.

“Mike!”

“Oh no…” Mike said while laughing.

“Truth or dare?”

“Dare.” Mike smirked, thinking that he got away from a question that would really hit him hard.

“Well then, sniff the armpits of every person here.”

“Oh my god!” I can’t help it. This is too good!

“But!” Mike protested. We all know how keen Mike’s sense of smell is. “Even Hange’s?” He asked color drained from his face.

“Especially Hange’s” Erwin said, smiling yet serious. Mike turned to Nanaba.

“Don’t look at me! We should play by the rules.” She said while winking seductively. Ha!

“You reap what you sow!” Hange said, pointing accusingly at Mike. Then raising her arm, giving Mike access to her armpit. Swallowing his pride, Mike did it. First Nanaba’s, then mine, the Erwin’s and finally, Hange’s.

“Ugh, blegh!” Mike gagged. Could Hange really smell that bad?

“The fifth turn.” We were suddenly calm. This is risky. Mike’s spin should only point to Nanaba, if not it would be super awkward.

But he sucked it and spun it anyways. And it stopped at….

“Erwin?!” hahahahahahahahaha!

“Five seconds or you’ll have to make out!” I yelled, reminding them. As quick as lighting, Mike pecked Erwin on the lips.

I dropped to the floor and rolled around laughing. I’ve certainly seen it all! Hange was on the floor like me, while Nanaba was jumping on the bed, squealing. This is a very interesting night!

* * *

A lot more of embarrassing secrets were revealed, I’ve also kissed both Hange and Nanaba – could finally sing I Kissed a Girl based on experience – and messed up the kitchen looking for something spicy and bitter.

We were almost crying while laughing, and this is seriously the first time I’ve ever seen Erwin so carefree and happy. It was the fourth turn as we reset it to one every time we hit five and Nanaba’s was the spinner.

“ (Y/N)!” Whoo boy. After several crazy dares, I’m prepared to take on truth.

“Truth or dare?”

“Truth.” Bracing myself wasn’t good enough. Nanaba’s hold was painful.

“Ahhh! Hurry! Question! Ouch!”

“Who’s your first kiss?” She asked before pressing a little harder.

“Ahhh!” All I care about right now is to stop the pain. “(Name)!” I confessed, and she let go. I immediately rubbed my hands, trying to make the pain go away faster, and noticed that it was only Mike and Hange who were noisy. Hange was saying, “called it.” While Mike was chuckling. Nanaba was surprised.

“What?” I asked. She turned to look at Erwin but snapped her head back to me, “nothing. I just thought.” She thought it would be Erwin? 

“Ehem.” Erwin broke his silence, “why don’t we continue.” But the mirth was gone. What did go wrong? The awkwardness was starting to wrap us up, so I decided to just continue.

“Whooo! Fifth turn! If that land on me again, we’re making out!” Hange declared.

“No way!” I spun it, muttering _please not Hange, please not Hange…._

And it stopped at Erwin. Before the others could start their countdown, Erwin slid closer and grabbed me, planting his lips against mine. In spite of my surprise, I closed my eyes and… savored the feeling. His hands… his big hands… one was behind my head, my hair in between his fingers. The other was holding on to my shoulder, pulling me closer by the minute.

The musky scent that I know if Erwin’s enveloped me – drowning me. My senses were full of him! Touch, taste, smell… Erwin. My arms and hands that were hanging limply at my side suddenly grew heavy, so I did what my instinct told me to do; pull him closer. And I did just that. His hand moved from my shoulder to my back, and his lips moved against mine. Every breath I take was full of him.

“Whooo! You go Erwin!” Whistles and cheering of our friends were now reaching my ear, but I don’t care. And Erwin seems to not care about that either.

Taking a leap, I tried to open my mouth, focus on his lower lip but then harsh pounding at the door rang around the room.

“If you idiots don’t want to sleep, at least let others!” Erwin and I parted, seemingly jolted out of a spell.

“Uh-oh.” Hange said, looking at the door.

“The commander doesn’t seem too happy.” Nanaba added.

“We should go.” Mike declared and they left, I stood at the door, watching them walk away as they waved goodbye. Erwin standing by his door, which is right next to mine.

“Well…” He said as he looked at me and, wow. He’s… glowing? I don’t know, Erwin seems happy. “That was fun.” He said, before that glowing smile of his turned into a somber one.

“Yes. That was… hmm.” I don’t know what to say. Do I say he’s a great kisser? I am getting goosebumps just thinking about what happened earlier. Clearing his throat, Erwin proceeded to open his door, and just before he entered; “Goodnight, (Y/N).”

“Night.”


	21. Faith [Levi Ackerman]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad things kept happening to you and it seemed like nothing would go right. But your faith in Levi is giving you the strength to face everyday’s challenges. And Levi is definitely worthy of your trust in him.

It sucks to literally be stuck between a rock and a hard place. You were trapped in what seemed to be a hospital since a titan decided it’d be fun to body slam the old buildings – making it rain boulders and stone. You just had the luck of being stuck under what used to be a wall and the floor.

You’re not sure how you’re still alive, and you kind of can’t feel anything below your waist aside from heaviness that could crush you. The only thing you’re a hundred percent sure of is that your 3DM gear is now flat and is contributing to you being stuck. You must get the straps of you somehow to at least shimmy out of the way.

It feels like you’ve been stuck there for hours, especially since your teammate said he’d get help. Dread was like a pebble stuck in your throat. What if this is it? You knew joining the Survey Corps was practically a death sentence, but meeting Levi… Oh, Levi.

* * *

You knew entering a relationship while in the SC is cruel as you’re surer than not that you’d leave the other behind. However, meeting Levi made you throw every sense out the window. You kept telling yourself it’s okay and only fair to want to be happy. And you two really were.

You were possibly the only person to ever see the different sides of Levi, the only one to see that elusive smile of his. You remember the first time you met; he was just recruited into the corps and was possibly the rudest person you’ve encountered. You had to help out and train Levi and his friends on how to kill titans but you ended up just pulling Levi and the old squad leader apart as they would have probably killed each other than cooperate.

It took you months before getting to know how he ticks – he absolutely loathes mess and loves tea – and how important his companions are. You were also there when he lost them and helped him get through it. That was probably the moment he finally let you into his life.

You remember your first kiss, which happened on a cloudless night. Funny how the memory of what led up to it was cloudy, unlike the feeling of kissing him for the first time. There was a slight shiver to Levi, and his arms hovered on your back before wrapping you in a tight hug. You still remember how warm it was when he sighed against your lips, and how brighter than the stars his smile and eyes were.

It took some time after your first kiss for him to tell you that he loves you. The setting wasn’t even romantic in the slightest. It was Levi’s busiest week with mountains of paperwork, so you thought it’d be nice to clean up for him. You were a complete mess; dust bunnies in your hair, soot on your skin and clothes. You didn’t even notice Levi was in the same room as you until his laugh rang.

You remember the soft and affectionate look in his eyes as he tried to get out as many nasty things from your hair as he could. You wrinkled your nose, telling him he wasn’t supposed to see the room semi-dirty. He shook his head and told you you’re doing a great job. And it surprised you how despite the soot, he took your face in his hands and kissed you tenderly. “I love you, Y/N.” He said softly. You said it back, of course.

Shit. Don’t people say memories will flash before your eyes the moment before you die? Is that why all these memories started resurfacing? A sob escaped from deep within your chest. You can’t leave Levi… can’t be a cause of pain. You promised him he won’t be alone… that you won’t leave him.

“Y/N!” It was as if everything – the whole world – was mocking you because just then you heard Levi calling your name. “Y/N! Where is she?”

“Over there captain!” Footsteps rushed to were you were stuck… A flurry of hands flew to your face and the next thing you saw was Levi’s worried face. “I’m here now Y/N! I got you. You! Help me lift this.”

“Levi…” Strange, your voice sounded very weak. You felt them move about you, the weight on your body lightening some. Next thing you felt was Levi’s strong hands that pulled you up.

“Ahhh!” A throbbing pain shoots up your leg. “Hold on to me Y/N. You! Get the horse closer! Y/N Hold on, I got you.” Levi was almost carrying you, careful of your leg. You managed to look at it, and for the pain, you feel, it actually looks fine. Except for a cut below your knees. Maybe one of the metals on the concrete caught on it.

Bringing over the horse was a bad plan but the only plan. You aren’t in the condition to ride on horseback pain-free and comfortably. “We’ll get you to a wagon later. Here, I’ll help you up.” You think you might have passed out as the next thing you know is falling off the horse.

“Shit! You, give me a hand.”

“What’s going on?” You asked, as both Levi and your teammate, Agnes, helped you back on your feet. The telltale signs of a titan horde can be felt around you; the quakes and scream of both titans and humans. Seems like a horde of titans caught up to your group. You weren’t sure, really as now there is a constant pounding in your head.

You could barely recognize the village around you. You can’t help but think of how impeccable the titans’ timing was. The SC just returned from a failure of an expedition and now attacked Shiganshina and the rest of Wall Maria with it. Utter chaos was the result, of course. A lot of you are tired – especially Levi, and the commander is missing. Maybe even dead.

“Levi, we need to get out of here. The Garrison is done with their evacuation!” You recognize it to be the voice of squad leader Erwin. You took a look around and saw that there are still a lot of residents and soldiers around. How could they be done with the evacuation? Shadows of titans loomed over you all, and there is no running from this.

“Y/N, take shelter while we take care of the titans.” Levi said, gesturing to the half-standing buildings nearby. Agnes helped you walk over to what may have been a dining hall, the huge stable still miraculously standing so as the grand fireplace. The floors above are still attached as well. It was basically just a wall that crumbled. “Hngg!” You heard from under the table and noticed two young children hiding.

Levi and Erwin made quick work of the titans ahead of you. And the moment they turned; when Levi looked at you, fear flashed in his eyes. You had no clue why but was enlightened in what could be shorter than a minute or longer than forever. A titan screamed and next thing you know was rocks raining down on you, a push and blackness taking over once more.

* * *

Right after the fall of wall Maria, Erwin was declared Commander of the Survey Corps. He still hasn’t sat down for long in his new office when Levi came in unannounced. “We need to get back out there!” Levi declared without any preamble.

Erwin sighed. He expected this to happen. “We searched the rubbles, Levi. And it’s already been more than ten hours. Y/N is –“ Levi cut him off before he could say what Levi dreaded the most. “We weren’t able to move the majority of it. But now we can gather supplies and tools! We can get her out. She’s a survivor. But we need to get her out as soon as we can.” Erwin’s lips just stayed in a grim line. The odds of you surviving the weight of a two-story building is nonexistent, but he doesn’t have the heart to tell Levi that. “Majority of us are injured. People that would help you dig needs to recover.” A chilly silence took over Levi then, and in a quiet voice he said, “you believe Y/N’s already dead.” Before leaving the office.

* * *

When you came to, you could barely see anything. Rays of light were coming through somewhere to your right and above helping you see in front of you. It took a couple minutes before your eyes adjusted and the moment it did you weren’t able to stop the yelp that came out of you. Someone’s arms were lying stiffly in front of you. Looking around, you recognize that you are inside the fireplace of the building you and Agnes took shelter in. Seems like the fireplace was extremely sturdy as you can see the sky above you. Then you remembered how you got there. “Agnes…” When the building started to collapse, she pushed you towards the fireplace. All you have left of her now are her arms. Then you remembered, the children under the table!

Rocks and wood is blocking you in. And you know those children didn’t make it. You let yourself mourn. Death really is something you can’t get used to. After some time, you decided you had to get out of there. The last thing you can remember is Levi and Erwin killing titans. You have no idea what the situation outside is, but you know Levi is alive. You just know.

You moved towards the side where light was getting through. Climbing up the chimney is out of the question. But moving these things can be really complicated. One wrong move and the whole thing might collapse on you. It was a painstaking process, but one you put everything into. You were able to extract broken wooden posts, making them support the big slab of rock above. You were able to somehow make a hole just big enough for you.

* * *

It was tough trying to walk around with a huge wound below your knee. One blessing though is how blood was clotted, meaning you just have to be careful and you won’t be bleeding to death. The titans clearly had a good time destroying the small village. There are still houses that are standing, only their roofs destroyed. You made your way to what looks like a shop and realized only then how hungry you were. Luckily there were dried meats and stale bread and various vegetables. You could try and live off these… until Levi gets you.

You were busy rummaging around to see if there are more food when the telltale rumble of the ground shook you. “No!” You have nothing to defend yourself with, and you are in no condition to fight. Then you heard screams. People? You looked out the window to see survivors – residents of Wall Maria! You wanted to help them, to do your duty as a soldier but it’s just not possible.

All you could do was muffle the screams trying to escape you are the titans did what they do best – destroy humanity.

You tried to keep track of the days, maybe just to keep you sane. Fear took hold of your heart, making you stay in that shop. Another thing that kept you sane were thoughts of Levi. You know he’ll come and get you, he just has to make preparations. He’s not someone who would give up. That means you also have to survive.

After five days, you were well enough to explore at night, when titans are inactive. You were able to gather water and other supplies from the houses nearby. You ran into three titans one time, and you have never been more afraid or quieter than that night. It also isn’t unusual for you to run into random bits of, well… humans. Parts of them that titans didn’t bother eating. You buried those that you could, otherwise, you just try to bear the scent of the flesh you couldn’t reach. In more ways than one, being stuck on titan territory is worse than a regular expedition. The thought of seeing the man you love is the only thing urging you to move every time you wake.

More time passed, and you’ve given up long ago. You were on one of the standing building’s second floor, looking for something to eat. You’ve encountered more moldy bread than you could bother to count and would die if there weren’t wild onions in a nearby field. You don’t know what urged you to look out the giant hole in the wall, but you did. “Levi!” Flare smoke can be seen on the horizon! It’s far from where you are, but this is the closest you are to being rescued. Throwing caution to the wind, you made a run for it.

* * *

Erwin was used to having Hange disobey orders and run off after titans she found fascinating. What he wasn’t used to, however, was Levi running off. But he knew better than to try and stop him. And honestly, he isn’t worried. Nothing could possibly stand between Levi and Y/N. And yes, if Levi believes that you’re still alive after all this time then hell. He can’t help but believe in it as well.

Erwin was right to think of Levi as being unstoppable right now. Several titans are already steaming in the path that Levi took. His goal was the last place he saw you. Being on a horse made Levi reach his goal quickly – he also made sure his horse kept up its maximum speed. The little hole that you left was the first thing he noticed. It definitely wasn’t there before! His heart leaped to his throat. He’s now sure you survived… then. A small titan, maybe four or five meters, was making a ruckus a couple of houses near him. It wasn’t anyone from the corps, he’s sure. He left them way behind. “Y/N!” He deduced, hurrying up.

It is just your luck to encounter a titan. It’s small, yes, but you’re unarmed. You can’t let it stop you, though. You’re so close. Gathering up some rocks, you tried to at least aim at the titan’s eyes. You were lucky enough to hit one, but it only made it angrier.

“Hey ugly! Stay away from Y/N!” That was probably the best thing you’ve ever heard. Levi was standing on his running horse, blades already unsheathe. In the blink of an eye, the titan’s nape was sliced off and Levi was standing in front of you. He looks almost the same, only the darkness under his eyes more prominent. You have no idea how you look, but you doubt it’s anything pleasant. But Levi, oh. He looks at you like you’re the most precious thing in the world.

You have a lot of things to tell him. You planned about this almost every minute, every day. But now that he’s right here in front of you, sobs were the only thing you got out of your chest. Words are suddenly very difficult to form and your sight of him became blurry due to your tears. But then he grabbed you and held you close, and you’re sure you’re not the only one crying.

“I’m sorry, it took me so long.” He whispered. “I’m sorry… Y/N… Y/N.” He repeated your name like a prayer. It took you a while to be calm enough and say that it’s okay. “You’re the reason I get up every morning. I know you’d come back for me.”

“I… I’m sor –“ you shook your head, stopping him for apologizing. He can’t help the smile that appeared on his lips. You’re right, he should stop saying sorry. Instead, he thanked you. “Thank you, for believing in me Y/N. I’m never going to let anything like this happen again.” As if an amen to a prayer, he kissed you to seal his promise. The feel of his lips on yours is something you thought you’d never forget, but experiencing it again made you realize just how amazing it is. Your memories are nothing compared to the real thing.

And yes, you believe he’ll make good on that promise.


	22. Our Dream [Armin Arlert x Reader]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin has always been motivated by his dream to see the Ocean - to see the world beyond the walls. Clearly, meeting someone with the same goal; the same dream is one of the best feelings in the world. Armin is truly thankful to have that.

After the fall of Shiganshina – of the whole wall Maria at that – Eren decided to enlist. It’s something anyone would expect of Eren, anyway. Besides, it’s something he has always wanted. Armin, on the other hand, surprised both Eren and Mikasa when he declared he was going to enlist as well. After all, he’s tired of his friends fighting his fights for him. He wants to be able to finally do something. And maybe someday achieve his dream of seeing the ocean.

His plans are already set, and Armin is nothing but focused on fulfilling them, so why was he letting himself get sidetracked and distracted? He can’t help but pay his undivided attention to Y/N. He can’t even explain it, but Y/N just stood out to him. She’s soft-spoken but headstrong, smart but not overly serious, and is absolutely beautiful.

“You’re staring again,” Eren said for what is probably the fourth time that day. The contrast between Armin’s blonde hair and his red face is outstanding. “I’m not.” He murmured. He knows it’s in vain, yet he still felt compelled to lie. “I think you should talk to her,” Mikasa told him in between bites.

“I don’t even know what to say to her.” And that is where Armin’s dilemma lies. Among the three of them, he’s probably the most likable, but his meek nature doesn’t really push him into initiating conversations – let alone try to flirt with someone.

“Just tell her you like her. What was it you said the other day? She’s the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen?” Eren teased, a very naughty smile on his face. “Wha - ! Eren! I didn’t say anything like that.” Frankly, Armin isn’t really sure. He might have said something like that… it sounds like something he’d say, after all.

“Eren’s right. Just be honest. Y/N likes you too, you know.” Mikasa told him before she focused back on her soup. She seems so indifferent, but her words seemed to shift Armin’s world. “She likes me, too?” He feels like he could jump for joy at the news. Seriously run through the streets and yell in celebration. Still, doubt clouded his mind.

“How would you know that, Mikasa?”

“Because, Armin, Y/N is as obvious as you are.” Really, Mikasa seemed scandalized at that – as if Armin should have known this all along! And to think Mikasa of all people would notice something like that.

Armin felt ice course through his veins, not out of fear or disappointment but due to sudden and uncontainable excitement. His heart seems to be jumping around his chest. Now, what to do with that information? Should he listen to Eren and just walk up to Y/N and tell her how he feels?

That thought stayed with Armin for the next days, and he obviously seems distracted during training that even Ymir who couldn’t possibly give a damn about him noticed.

“Are you gonna eat that?” Sasha asked, pointing towards Armin’s untouched bread. Well, she asked but she didn’t wait for an answer. It was already half inside her mouth before Armin got to react at all.

“Hey!” Armin whined – fully aware that it’s too late to save his bread.

“That’s what you get for daydreaming about Y/N instead of eating,” Ymir commented, her ever smug grin present on her face. It was like a needle dropped in the whole mess hall because of course Ymir is just that loud! And against his will, Armin looked at Y/N’s direction – finding her blushing and looking straight back at him. In a rare surge of boldness, Armin spoke, “Ymir, don’t go exposing my secrets now.”

Cringe. Armin can almost feel everyone cringe at that. He regrets it the moment those words left his mouth. To make matters worse, Connie led everyone in laughing at him. Armin did the _honorable_ thing to do – he ran outside.

Before he can fully marinade in his tears and drown himself in his embarrassment, Armin heard footsteps approach him. Assuming it’s either Mikasa or Eren, he reassured them right away. “I’m okay.” The voice that answered him took him by surprise.

“Good to know. Also, I saw Sasha take your food. I bet you’re still hungry so here.”

“Y/N?” You’d think a million different thoughts would rush around in his head at that moment, but there was actually nothing. His mind was completely blank, especially when he felt Y/N’s warmth as she took a seat beside him. Y/N is starting to double think her approaching Armin since he’s just looking at her.

“Uhmm…” Y/N tried to hand her bread to Armin once more, the action finally taking Armin out of the trance he seemed to be in. “Thank you.” Silence took over them once more. What was he supposed to do or say now? Armin wished he read something about this… talking to girls. He talks to Mikasa all the time, so why is he having such a hard time?

“Y/N, about what Ymir said…” Armin’s at a loss. Was he supposed to brush it aside and lie to her about his feelings? Is he supposed to confess now?

“I’m sorry Ymir put you on the spot like that. That wasn’t very nice of her.” Armin can’t help but smile at that. “Yeah, but I’m used to it. Ymir and I don’t really get along.”

“I think Krista is the only one she likes!” Y/N commented with surprising cheerfulness. The two of them ended up talking about their fellow trainees that night, Armin totally stopping from overthinking and actually getting comfortable with Y/N.

\----

“No! I can imagine Eren doing that, but Mikasa?” Y/N said, plucking another flower from the little cluster they’re sitting by. “Yes, well Mikasa can get pretty violent when it comes to protecting us – especially Eren.”

“I think I understand. You two are her precious friends after all. Here.” Y/N then handed a flower crown that she’s been making to Armin. “Wow, this is beautiful.” Armin said, proudly wearing Y/N’s gift. “It is. Looks like Persephone blessed us really well this spring.” “Persephone?” At Armin’s question, Y/N tensed up. “Ah, nothing! We’d better go to the dining hall before Sasha inhale every bread in the room!” Y/N went on to do just that, leaving Armin behind.

Armin found it odd, but not really unusual. Y/N seems to be having a hard time totally opening up to him. It’s like there’s something she wants to tell him but would change her mind at the last minute. A clear example was their interaction earlier. Armin made it his goal to make Y/N comfortable around him.

\---

Out of breath, Armin stood just outside the little cottage he and his team would be staying at during this exercise. Reiner helped him out again but he still feels as though he carried the world on his shoulders. “Armin! There you are. Here, I bet you’re thirsty.” Before, Armin would have been embarrassed at the thought of Y/N seeing him breathless and sweaty. Now he’s just happy to see her.

“Thank you!” He said, taking the offered canister. “You’re welcome. The instructor said we’re free for the rest of the night, by the way.” After finally catching his breath, Armin decided to take a chance. “Do you want to take a walk? With me?” Surprisingly, Armin wasn’t nervous. It’s not that he’s so confident Y/N would say yes. But there’s a lower chance of her turning him down, as proven by the eager nod that she gave him.

Honestly, the terrain was horrible, the view was ugly and the weather was humid but the two of them don’t seem to mind it one bit. They talked about the most mundane things – their breakfast that morning, Bertholdt’s weird sleeping positions, Sasha’s fascination with the mushrooms they saw earlier and Jean’s horse-like face – and yet it’s like it’s the most important thing in the world. Armin hangs onto her every word and she seemed to be doing the same to her.

“Eek!”

Armin’s reflexes worked so fast he didn’t have time to think. One moment Y/N was about to fall down due to tripping on an exposed tree root, the next she was in Armin’s arms. “Are you okay?” He asked, face the closest they’ve ever been to her. “Yes.” They stayed like that… close. Close enough to feel each other’s breath on their skin; to count each other’s eyelashes.

“I really like you, Y/N!” It just felt like the perfect moment to lay his feelings bare. Armin didn’t have time to doubt himself as Y/N’s reply came right away. “I like you, too.” Mikasa was right, after all.

\---

To say they were a hundred percent comfortable with each other isn’t exactly factual. I mean, of course, they are comfortable to some extent, but being intimate is just something they aren’t tackling very well. Armin would love to hold Y/N hand as they walk around the training academy, but he’d wonder if he’s being too forward or improper. The teasing from the rest of the guys isn’t helping either.

What’s more is that there is still that lingering hesitation from Y/N – it’s like she has a secret she so wanted to share with him but just can’t find the courage to do so. In fear of judgment, perhaps.

Most of the 104th class are doing their laundry, and Y/N and Armin are doing theirs together in silent companionship when Jean, Connie, and Sasha decided to break the mundane atmosphere by hitting each other with their laundry – getting even those innocently doing their chores wet.

“Hey!”

“Blugh!” Armin exclaimed as he was hit straight on the face. It didn’t damper anyone’s spirits though, as they went on and more joined in. Armin and Y/N actually ended up teaming up on Connie. Soon enough, everyone at the riverbank is soaking wet and red from all the hitting that they were doing – the clothes they were washing definitely not getting any cleaner.

It took Keith Shadis himself to stop the trainees’ shenanigans and for them to calm down.

“That was fun.” Y/N said as she tried to fix her hair that’s been sticking to her face. “Oh! Your eyes are so red.”

Armin could definitely feel a slight stinging sensation. “I think the water irritated my eyes. Heh, I guess I’m lucky this isn’t the ocean, because then – ah!” The ocean. Armin is aware that knowledge of this is dangerous – deadly! It’s not that he doesn’t trust Y/N, but he needs to be careful.

Y/N then looked around, as if trying to make sure no one is close enough to hear them. “That would have been painful. It is salty water after all.” She said, followed by a deep sigh. “How did you… Uhm, you know of the ocean?” She said in a whisper.

Now, this might be extremely stupid and generous but Armin can’t help but feel like this is the final hurdle they have to get over. “Books.” He answered simply. Y/N then grabbed Armin’s hand – leaving their laundry behind – and went to the dorms. Making sure the rooms she shares with the other trainees is empty, Y/N pulled Armin inside. “I have something to show you and I think you know that it’s between just us two.”

They soon find themselves standing at the bunk bed assigned to Y/N, facing the small nightstand with at least a dozen books. Honestly, nothing really stands out to Armin. Nothing looks like the books his family owned – those about the outside world. “These are history books? Those you can find anywhere.”

“Well yes, but no.” Y/N said before grabbing one in the middle entitled _Fritz: The Royal Family_. It’s probably the most famous book within the walls – only because it was required to be read by everyone. Y/N pulling that one out served only to confuse Armin. “They say the best place to hide a leaf in is in a forest, so…” Y/N then opened the book, showing Armin that the pages inside are nothing about the Fritz family. “I replaced the cover.”

“The ocean! I know this. It’s talking about how the world has more water than land – there are also things about the tundra and deserts!” The two of them began talking about the things they haven’t seen but read about. Armin found out that Y/N is fascinated with mythology. He’s surprised to find out that there is a god for everything!

They mostly lingered on the book called _World Atlas_. It’s full of nothing but colorful maps and of places they couldn’t even pronounce. “Maybe, beyond the walls, these places are still out there. I’m mostly interested in seeing this rain forest.” Y/N said. It was at that moment when realization hit Armin that they truly are perfect for each other. “Of course, before getting there we’d have to cross the ocean. I wonder if it’s truly as beautiful as it is in these drawings. That’s my dream.”

Before he can stop himself, Armin leaned over and captured her lips in a sweet peck. “What?” Surprise was etched in Y/N’s face, but Armin won’t miss the cute flush of her cheeks. “That just felt… right. Don’t you think so?” Armin said, flashing a confident smile. “Let’s try that again.”


End file.
